No More Man Spray

My son hoards money. Really, he’s very good at saving. He’s never been one of those kids that lets money burn a hole in his pocket. He thinks and plans and figures out what he wants and then saves. And he usually has more spending money than I do!

Usually for birthdays and Christmas, he will list the expensive items he wants on his list. I think he’s figured out that no one is going to go buy some $200 item (unless it’s his sucker parents), so they just give him money TOWARD his expensive items. He’s got all his relatives figured out and they all fall for it.

So on his wish list was a North Face jacket. The one ALL the teenagers are wearing. When he announced that he wanted said $165 jacket, I gave him my usual reply of “save your money”. Which he did.

So last weekend we trekked out to our local Sports Authority to pick up the jacket. He got it home, promptly put it on and wore it all afternoon. And the next day. I know he was hot in it. He said he wasn’t. Whatever. But partway through Sunday he made a comment that “it stinks”. Upon questioning, he said it just had a funky “new” smell. Said it smelled like the store.

I thought nothing of it. Until a little while later his bathroom door closed and I heard this unmistakeable sound. Shhhhh Shhhhhhh. Shhhhh Shhhhhh. My brain was realizing what that sound was. I could not get to the door before the next Shhhhhh Shhhhhhh happens.

I yell for him to stop and ask what he is doing, even though I already KNOW. He was spraying the jacket with “man spray”. That’s what we call Axe and all it’s evil sibling brands in our house. It’s that overly stinky crap that teenage and pubescent boys think they need to use to excess. They want to use the body wash, the shampoo, the deodorant and the spray. All of it, one right after another. And let me tell you, the deodorant is too strong all by itself. I’m surprised teachers haven’t staged a revolt and banned kids from wearing it to school. I hate that stuff.

We have lectured our son and told him how you should never feel the need to move away from someone who is the source of that kind of smell. A girl should be able to walk by, catch a faint whiff and question whether it’s coming from you. THAT’S how it should work. He’s usually pretty good about it.

But not that day. No, after hours of hanging outside to no avail, we had to put it in the wash. The brand new $165 jacket. In the washing machine.

To his benefit, he admitted feeling stupid after he did it. Said he didn’t know what he was thinking. Said he’d never do THAT again. And the jacket came out fine. Just like new, without any smells. Ugh.

Live and learn. That’s what I say.
***Ally