A Wife of Noble Character?

I was emptying the dishwasher tonight when I came across the chewed-up spoon (from an incident with the garbage disposal) and the fork with the bent tine that hits your tooth. I know I should throw them in the trash, but return them to the silverware drawer instead. They are like the "fat pants" you keep in your closet, just in case you gain the weight back. This is illogical and I know it. If every spoon and fork were dirty I would just reach into the dishwasher and hand wash one, grab a plastic utensil, or eat with my hands. Duh.

Besides, they have come in handy for other reasons. The spoon can be used for scraping the burnt crud off your stove top and the fork can be used as payback. When I am mad at a family member, guess who gets the fork in their dinner place setting?

"How did I get the jacked-up fork?" they whine.

"Someone must have put it back in the drawer," I say, playing dumb and hiding my devilish grin.

Lela

Good Choices

So when my son voluntarily comes in the house on a warm, summer, Saturday night at 9:30 and sits down on the couch with his dad and me... something is definitely up.

Me: Where are your friends?
Him: They all went inside.
Me: They ALL went inside? Like ALL of them just had to go inside right now at 9:30?
Him: Well, the girls were doing (something-or-other I don’t remember), VJ’s parent’s called him in, and Jon was being stupid so he went inside.
Me: Why was he being stupid?
Him: He just was.
Me: (Not gonna leave it be) What was he doing to be stupid?
Him: He kept asking me to have a sleepover, but I told him I didn’t want to and I told him my parents would say no, but he kept telling me to ask just one time.
Me: Did you tell him you have early rehearsal at church tomorrow so it wouldn’t have worked?
Him: Yeah, I told him I need to go to sleep early.
Me: (Still not leaving it alone) So why didn’t he get that?
And then the truth gushed out....
Him: Because he wanted to have a sleepover and they all wanted to sneak out later.

Ooooookaaaaaaayyyy. I’m getting so good at not having a “parent-y” reaction to things like this. I won’t put you through the rest of the conversation. The short story is that this in this group of 14 and 15 year olds, sneaking-out is the rule of the summer to test their parents on. Several of them have apparently already done it. The goal is to apparently sneak out after the parents go to sleep and stay out until 2 or 3 in the morning. At least one has gotten caught and was grounded for 2 weeks. My son has a couple of things against him in this endeavor. 1) He has already tested some rules this summer and experienced grounding, losing his phone (OMG, NOT THE PHONE!!) and his electronics. He is not eager to go there again. 2) His room is upstairs - and the floor at the top of the stairs squeaks - LOUDLY -right outside our bedroom door. And we have no intention of fixing it 3) The dog would start whining if he tried it - she likes to have her pack altogether and 4) I married a night owl who is also the lightest sleeper on the face of this earth.

But the best part was that my son made a good choice and stood by it. For that I wanted to do a little cheerleader dance. But instead I said a little silent prayer thanking God this kid wasn’t trying the things I was at his age, and I calmly told him I appreciated his good choice. Of course I reiterated 35 reasons why him trying to sneak out would be a bad idea. And I kept the cheerleader in my head.
***Ally

I'm Hungry

My almost 15 year old is a boy. A teenage boy. Baseball player. Who is currently off season, but in a serious core strength and agility work out five days a week. And he eats. A lot. THE most common words spoken in my house have become “I’m hungry”. Like 8 times a day. Seriously. I think he’s burning calories faster than he can take them in. And we’re actually trying to put a little weight on him. Oh man, to have that problem... But I can’t figure out what else to feed him. I actually want him to eat pretty healthy, but how in the heck to you find all those calories a day that he obviously needs to consume in good, healthy food?? And even more important: how do I pay for it? (How do you all do it with multiple teenagers???) And did I mention he’s a teenage boy? That means he stands in the middle of the kitchen and announces he can’t find anything to eat. Translation: make me something to eat. Six times a day.

The problem? Being over 40 now, just looking at food can add to my waistline. I don’t want it around! My willpower is not that strong. But I must stock it for the eating machine.

For breakfast we have boxes and boxes and boxes of organic cereal. There’s organic eggs and organic breakfast meats. And there’s oatmeal and pancake mix. Then there’s always fruit (yes, organic when I can), and yogurt and toast.

And he’ll be back by 10 or 10:30 for more.

And for lunch there are the makings for grilled cheese, shrimp fried rice (frozen from Trader Joe’s - the kid LOVES this stuff), salmon salad with jalapenos (a home creation) with canned wild salmon from Costco, frozen organic Trader Joe’s pizzas, and his old standby of peanut butter (organic, of course - I know you are tired of reading that word) and honey sandwiches.

And then he’ll snack. There’s whole grain chips, pretzels, crackers. Again, always fruit. Oh, and fruit smoothies and protein shakes.

Dinner is whatever the main course of the day is. Plus veggies and salad. Tonight was free-range, grass fed burgers with all the makings, home made big thick baked fries.

But give it an hour or two. He’ll be back for cereal. Or toast. Or both.

Oh, no. I have to loosen the button at my waistband just thinking about it.
Ugh. ***Ally

Comfort, My Friends

The best Target sweats ever made (low waist, cute pockets in front, no lame elastic at the bottom, and ratty edges so when they do get ratty, it looks like they were supposed to be that way) and an Adam and the Ants t-shirt. And chenille slippers. That is what I am wearing to write this. It's cool today, or it would be shorts and the above mentioned outfit.

(If you are over 40, there is a good chance you know who Adam and the Ants are. If not, you missed out on a VERY AWESOME, very early 80's singer/band that stays in my heart until today. Really, nominated for Best New Artist Grammy in 1982! They were darlings in early MTV! Really? You've at least heard Good Two Shoes, right? Seriously - first concert I ever went to. Lela and I would dress up with his influence and take pictures of ourselves! We were bored teenagers!)

Okay, I digressed there for a minute. COMFORTABLE CLOTHES. That's what I'm saying. I have no patience for uncomfortable clothes anymore. I think back to some of the extra tight jeans I poured myself into. Shirts where bra straps had to be pinned in place and no movement was allowed for fear of you or your bra falling out. Narrow pumps that I squeeeeeezed my feet into - that I had NO idea how to walk in. Things that rode up, fell down, twisted or were just altogether awful. Can't do it. Won't do it. Life is too short.

Which leaves me with few options that are "cute". At least few options that I can afford on a my-husband-got-laid-off salary. But I'm trying. 'Athletic inspired' sometimes works, and since I work with athletes I can usually get away with it. Problem is most of the stuff I work out in looks as good as my sweats and t-shirt. When we are back to a real salary, I have sworn to redo my wardrobe from Athleta and Title 9. Great, comfortable clothes. And while I save my pennies for something cute AND comfortable, you should check out the great deal on pajamas at Bedhead on this blog: pajamasandcoffee.com Look at the second August 28th post. She has a discount code for you. And they have some GREAT stuff on clearance sale. Besides, her blog is one of the funniest around.

Be comfortable!!
***Ally

Married Life

I was sitting on my front porch this last night, enjoying a glass of wine and taking in the beauty of the neighborhood. For some reason, my husband does not find this favorite past time of mine equally enjoyable. He would rather sit in the stifling -hot living room and watch the little league world series.

The french doors were opened wide because it was a warm night and many neighbors were out and about, watering lawns, walking dogs, strolling by.

Suddenly my husband decides to rip an extremely loud fart from inside the living room.

"I heard that," I said, looking around to make sure no one else did. Gross.

Then he did it again!

"The neighbors heard that one," I said, this time believing it.

"Good," he replied. "A man should be able to fart in his own house."

A light breeze picked up and I took a sip of my wine. The sun was about to disappear on the horizon and I was too content to argue.

Besides, he did have a point.

Lela (Celebrating 14 years of happy marriage next month)

People Watching

There's something about being near a body of water that seems to sooth my soul. Maybe it's the gorgeous August weather - sunny and warm, but cool at night. The crystal clear sky, the city (Seattle) sparkling in the distance, people out and about enjoying their day. I did my three miler along the waterfront today, temps in the low 80's, light breeze, and by the time I was done I felt lighter. Not in pounds - I wish it were that easy. But in the weight of life's stresses. Somehow when you acknowledge the blessings around you, stresses that were so important just a short while ago, don't seem so bad anymore.

AND even more fun is the people watching and the snipets of conversation you overhear. For instance, the two women walking along - one says, "Yeah, I got into it with my father-in-law - he's also a sagittarius...". Would she have not 'got into it' with him if he was a Libra????? An Aquarius????

Or the odd couple half jogging, half walking. First picture them. She in shorts, tank top, tennis shoes and sun hat. He, a good 8 inches shorter than her, in jeans (rolled about three times at the cuff), walking shoes, fanny pack, baseball cap and, yes, oversized rain jacket/windbreaker. (Did I mention it was in the 80's?). They jog a bit, stop, say something to each other, then off they go jogging again. Swish, swish, swish go his jeans. As I pass them, they have stopped and are looking at the houses that line the hillside across from the water.
Him: "Something is trapping the spirits."
Her: "Maybe it's the trees."
Him: "Maybe."
Her: "Maybe it would be better to live further up the hill."
Him: "Well, the view would be better."
View? What about the freaking spirits??????? I want to hear more....

Theses snipets leave WAY too much to my imagination. And so it goes on. There are moms trying to reason with unreasonable small children. Overdressed tourists taking off shoes and snapping pictures of each other in the sand. There are folks lunching in sidewalk cafes. Runners, roller bladers, cyclists, walkers, strollers, rented pedal carts. Everyone out doing their own thing, enjoying what's left of this incredible summer.

And me? I've observed this small corner of the world, left my stresses on the shore, inhaled the fresh air, and finished with an iced mocha. Yes, in Seattle we end our workouts with sweetened-up-so-you-can't-taste-the-coffee-drinks. I wonder if that's another three miles worth of calories? Ahhhhhhhh. Life is good.
***Ally

Secret Potion of the Day

I am not a professional product reviewer, really. But in our own ways, we are ALL product reviewers. We certainly pass on the info about the things we DON'T like, and sometimes we share info about the stuff we DO like. So here's my review for the day. Alba Kukui Nut Body Cream. Ladies, this stuff is magic. I use it every day on my arms and legs when I get out of the shower. I never have dry skin. Ever. You know how some lotions soak in and then you get the ashey, scaley look? Doesn't happen with this stuff. And it's so think and luxurious that I actually mix a little plain lotion in with it to spread it around. It's great stuff. And the bonus? Every time I open the jar it's that little scent of secret Hawaii. (Not the overly enhanced flower smell) You can buy it at any health food store, or the natural section of some stores. I buy mine on Vitacost.com (okay, another review) because I pay much LESS and they have flat fee shipping so I buy all my supplements and naturals in one spot! Love it!
***Ally

Church and Oral Hygiene

Why don't boys like to brush their teeth? Or go to church? I woke up my son to go to church yesterday and he pretended not to hear me. Nice try. I am all about empowering my loved ones to make their own decisions, so I gave him a choice: (A.) Wake up and go to church or (B.) Sleep in, clean your room, and no T.V. or video games for the rest of the day.

Let's just say I think he made the right choice. While driving to church, I noticed a funky smell in the car. "Did you brush you teeth?" I ask.

"I forgot."

How can you "forget" to brush your teeth? My son is 12 and I call this psychological warfare on his part. He purposely does things to mess with my mind and slowly drive me crazy.

"O.K.," I say, reaching into my purse for a piece of gum. "Chew this and spit it out when we get there. When we get home, the first thing you will do is brush your teeth and you just lost video games for the day."

He didn't argue, and after church he was in a pretty good, talkative mood. When we got home he brushed his teeth (after a reminder from me) and then I made him clean his room.

All is fair in love and war.

Lela

Life With Facebook - Good or Bad?

Several months back I joined Facebook as part of a group of people who all went to the same summer camp together years ago. It was a way to reconnect some of those old names, faces and memories. Then came all my old high school classmates. My graduating class ended up with a group, and it became a sort of online class reunion. And of course staying in touch with current friends, as well. And then came friend requests from the "other" people. You know the ones. Parents of kids on your kids sports teams - that you really don't talk to outside of sports. The old classmate you didn't get along with in high school (or college, or trade school), so why would you want to be in touch now? Your relative by marriage that you only barely get through family reunions with. (No, not my family - I, fortunately, have a WONDERFUL family - but I've heard these complaints, folks) But now she wants to be your buddy on facebook. Your mind spins as you imagine the person commenting on any benign post you happen to put up.

It's not that I post things I don't want anyone to see. The internet would be a silly place for that kind of information. But there are just some people that have a negative effect on your state of mind. You've purposely not included them in the people you surround yourself with. And suddenly here they are. Wanting to be in your daily life (or weekly, or however often you check your facebook page).

As I get older, I realize the importance of surrounding myself with people who are positive, caring and a good influence in my life. Life is too short to get held down by negativity. So what in the world do I do with that list of friends waiting for my reply to their "friend requests"??? The positive, friendly thing to do would be to accept their invitation and know it won't be nearly as bad as my mind is imagining.

Oh, and then there's that button I forgot about. Delete.
***Ally

Teenage Boy Sleepover

Recipe:
1 open floor space
1 tv
1 video game console
5 teenage boys
2 bags of chips
5 cans of root beer
midnight bowls of cereal to taste
5 pillows
a big pile of blankets
playstation until 3am
fart noises (followed by laughter) until 4am
10am wakeup
1 box of doughnuts
1 pillow fight

Mix in 1 whining dog who doesn't understand why she isn't invited to the party. Let simmer through the night. Serves 5 boys and two tired parents.

Hey, but at least they're hanging out where I know what they are up to!
***Ally

Good Kids Indeed

We do have good kids. I was just telling Lela, that my (almost) 15 year old son came in the other day and with an apprehensive face, asked if he could go to a movie with two other boys. (Two boys that I often hesitate to allow too much freedom with) It was not a good day for me, my husband wasn't home, and I didn't want to deal with it. So I braced myself for opposition and told him no. As a weird look of relief passed over his face, he said, "Okay" and headed back out the door. I sat for a minute trying to figure out if there was any chance that his teenage brain had realized I was having a bad day and really couldn't deal with it so he was cutting me a break? Or the more likely scenario that something not-so-kosher was going to happen at the movie with the other boys, and he was glad to not be a part of it. Hmmm. I don't know how I ever pulled anything over on my mom, but this one's not getting much past me.
***Ally

My Perfect Son

My 12 year old son is actually a pretty good kid. When I see his friends acting like morons out in public I am thankful that he is not a follower--at least not when I am looking.

The neighbor kid had a birthday party last night with a rented semi-truck full of video games and twenty smelly, 12 year old boys. My son was one of them. I didn't need to supervise, but I walked across the street to say hi to some people. The next thing I know, the party boy's mom is yelling my name. She pulls me aside to tell me my son is throwing up!

I had just seen my son a minute ago and he was fine. What the heck? I don't freak out at this kind of stuff, so I was more annoyed than worried. At least he made it to the bathroom. When I knocked on the door my son said, "I'm all right, Mom. I chugged 3 bottles of water and didn't feel good, so I threw up and I feel better."

When he opened the door I quickly assessed conditions: No sign of vomit on any surfaces; no horrible, lingering smell; no sign of physical trauma on my son. Check.

"Why did you chug 3 bottles of water?" I ask, while wiping down the toilet with Clorox wipes, just in case. "Were you that thirsty or just showing off?

His 12 year old face told me he hadn't been thirsty, just trying to be cool. "I learned my lesson, Mom."

I hope so. What a moron.

Lela

A funny thing happened on the way to the post office . . .

First of all, Ally, I feel your "hair" pain. How come I have to wear magnifiers to read the newspaper, but I can spot a stray chin hair by just walking past a mirror at six feet away? Also, my eyebrows are thinning at an alarming rate but my armpits have 5 o'clock shadow by noon! No fair! But enough of that--it's depressing. I guess we should be grateful that we still have hair.

Guess what I saw at the post office this morning? An older woman who looked like she just came from her Curves workout was wearing a scarf on her head covering . . .wait for it . . . rollers! Who does that anymore? Especially in Orange County! It made me laugh and think of those spongy, pink rollers my mom made me sleep in as a child. Torture. The price we pay for beauty.

Lela

What is with random hair and your 40's???

I know I'm not alone in this, because these complaints keep finding their way to my ears. I have a cousin who complained of finding a random, one inch, white hair in the middle of her forehead. Good grief - how does it grow to be an inch long? Lela herself complained of the hair on her face she could see in the rearview mirror of the car, but couldn't find it at home. We in our 40's have all been there. (I secretly carry tweezers in my purse for that very reason.) Many have complained of the random chin hair that you KNOW wasn't there yesterday, but today is suddenly 1/4 inch long! Where did it come from? I, myself, found not one, but two random hairs recently. One on my shoulder of all places! I thought I had a loose hair (from my head) that had fallen to my shoulder, reached back to grab it, but it was attached! Again, the one inch, white, thin hair. Really? And then yesterday the same thing happened on my arm, just above my elbow. Again, I ask, WHERE do they come from? What spurs my body to suddenly launch a growing hair where one does not belong? Please don't say hormones. It may be true, but there is so much to blame on hormones these days, that I don't need another. Apparently what I need is a good shave. ***Best, Ally