I recently watched an undercover expose' on the purchase of ladies underwear.
Apparently, when you return underwear, the salespeople are NOT supposed to re-tag them and put them back on the sales floor. Who wants someone else's crotch cooties? Or as the journalist so eloquently stated, "unwanted bacteria".
This Pulitzer Prize bound investigative reporter even went one step further to prove that the panties you purchase are probably tainted (pun intended). After buying panties from well-known department stores, she took them home and stained the crotches with baby oil! Then she returned them and came back later to find them, you guessed it, back on the racks, stains and all.
Ladies, to protect you private parts, please follow these easy steps for your next panty purchase:
1. Go to Target, NOT Macy's.
2. Pick out a hermetically-sealed plastic package of panties in your size. To be on the safe side, if you think you wear a medium, buy the large. Just do it.
3. Buy them. You can most likely get a pack of 6 for 5 bucks.
4. Take them home and (this is important) WASH THEM. Preferably in hot water.
5. Wear them. If they don't fit, cram them in your underwear drawer anyway. If they are too small, you will lose weight someday and they will fit. If they are too big, you will gain weight some day and they will fit.
6. DO NOT return them if your crotch has made contact with them in any way, shape, or form.
Together, we can stop the spread of unwanted crotch cooties.
-Lela
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11 comments:
I don't believe I have ever tried on underwear...and it wouldn't occur to me to RETURN it!!
First...ewww gross!
Second...Ha ha ha ha ha
Third...even before I got to your easy steps I had thought..."that's why I buy my underwear from Walmart!"
This cracked me up. I will be telling my dh about the "crotch cooties" blog post I read today for sure. lol
I worked in retail for TOO many years to count. I can tell you...this is ALL true! Every word of it. You know what else is worn, returned, and then restocked? Swimsuits. That's right. I had a mom trying to return one before that she SWORE her daughter hadn't worn. When I put on my latex gloves and flipped the [dirty] crotch out for her to see she was mortified, ripped it out of my hand and stormed out of the store. I'm sure her daughter got an earful that night!
You should see about getting this list published somewhere...in a major newspaper or something or magazine. It is so 100% spot on...especially with that whole buying a size larger. Geez I've wasted so much money that way. And my underwear drawer? Yeah...crammed to the hilt with unwearable under things because I gots junk in my trunk...
I have returned underwear before. But the tags were still on them and I haded tried them on (ewwwww). I just happened to grab the wrong size....someone had put them in the wrong bin....honestly
you are such the model citizen!!
Holy vajayjay Batman. This smells fishy to me.
Um, returning it??? That's just WRONG. On so many levels.
I totally buy the packages. SEALED packages. And I do exactly that if they don't fit (AFTER I wash them). My underwear drawer is VERY full. : )
Thankg God you wrote this! What would I have done without this wealth of knowledge? Oh, I know - I would just keep wearing the same old maternity underwear that I have worn for the past 3 years. Talk about buying a size bigger!
Yeah. I heard that too. About a day after I dropped $200 at Victoria's Secret.
No way! The packaged ones are all frumpy, dumpy saggy butt drawers and all others are expensive. Therefore, if they don't fit, I'M BRINGING 'EM BACK! Oh, and of course, a good wash'll kill anything.
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