Master? Oh I Think So...

We got an award. No, not an Academy Award. Those were the awards where all the rich and famous, put on clothes they can actually afford, but are mostly borrowed to promote some fabric draping genius, gather in one place and pat each other on the back. Okay, yes, I sneaked a few peeks to see what the pretty people were wearing. And for the most part, I'm glad to see glam is back and atrocious is out. But really, I had last week's Survivor to watch. Cause that is oh, such a much better use of the time I don't have. Ahem.

No these are the awards I'm talking about, where we hide behind computers in our sweats and pajamas and ponytails and unwashed faces and pat each other on the back. We're so much better than those other types I mentioned before!!!

Anyhoo, Lady V over at A Little Bit of Vic gave us this awesome award. If you haven't visited her, you should. This is one honest lady, a power mom who would do anything for her awesome girls, and will give you a chuckle to boot!

According to The Fab Bitch-who gave the award to Lady V:

"The award, like most, comes with rules: I have to list six things I "master." I don’t master, I bitch. And I bitch fabulously. That is my thing. But rules are rules and I will give it my best damn shot."

Sometimes the rules that come with awards can be, well, a pain in the ass. (Sorry if you are behind some of those) But I see these as kind of fun. So here goes:

1. I master the art of procrastination. I blog! Dude, what better way to put off doing something I need to do, than to hang out on blogs! Write them, read them. Doesn't matter. The time I spend blogging is the time I spend putting off taking a shower, cleaning a toilet, going for a run, making dinner, dusting the measurable amount of dust collecting on the surfaces of my house. Master.

2. I master of the art of diffusion. I hate confrontation and can diffuse most conversations. To a fault. I am Mrs. Agreeable. Except on my blog, where I rant and pretend to be tough.

3. I master prediction. I can accurately predict the reaction and behavior of a certain someone I know who may or may not be a sibling of my husband. CoughcoughcoughSILcoughcough. My correct prediction rate hovers around 96.5%. Which has led to other mastery. I know how to introduce ideas and choose words, both verbal and written to guide her reactions to something a little more socially acceptable. Which I guess makes me a manipulator.... read on...

4. I am a master of gentle manipulation. (MINDS OUT OF GUTTERS. NOW!) I worked for a doc for 14 years, who liked to come up with ideas on his own. I was a master of planting a seed, letting it stew and then he would come back with a great idea! Which was what I wanted/needed in the first place. Didn't matter to me how it came about, as long as it did! Worked for both of us. And I can apply the skill to many people in my life.

5. I master the organization of my household. Seriously, if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, my husband and son would be in a sad state. Where do we keep the checkbook? Do we have a 9X13 pan? Where's the extra paper towels? What bank is our safety deposit box at?

6. I am a master of "Do As I Say, Not As I Do". I am a parent. 'Nuff said.

There you have it. I'm a master. Even if it's only in my own little corner of this significantly twisted world.

Thank you Lady V!

***Ally