Whenever my husband and I are on our way to a potentially boring social situation, I tell him that we need to have a code word for, "This is torture. Let's leave now."
He usually replies, "How about, 'This is torture. Let's leave now'?" Buzz kill.
You can image my surprise when he was actually up for my corny code word game the other day. I had to drop off a prescription and on the way home I was going to buy him a Slurpee, because he had done all his chores and was being awesome. When I got to 7-11, I would call my husband to see if my son had done his chores, hence, being worthy of receiving a Slurpee. (Husband was worthy, son probably not. Get it?) These were my instructions to my husband:
When I call you, I will say, "Is the turkey in the oven?"
If the kid has brought the trashcans in, you will reply, "Gobble, gobble." (Slurpee)
If he is still sitting on the couch eating Doritos, you will say, "The turkey is in the oven." (No Slurpee)
THIS is what really transpired when I called from 7-11:
First of all, my son, not my husband answered the phone.
Me: "Ask your dad if the turkey is in the oven."
Son, yelling: "Dad, Mom wants to know if the turkey is in the oven!" Mind you, it was NOT Thanksgiving and my son just yells to his father like I was asking if we needed more toilet paper.
Son: "Dad says the turkey is dead."
Me: "Okay, thanks. Bye."
Oh crap! What does that mean? Now I have to think like my husband. Does "dead turkey" mean "gobble, gobble" or "in the oven"? I finally rationalize that although my husband was game enough to play along, he wasn't willing to be totally humiliated and say, "gobble-gobble", so he said the turkey was dead?
I ended up buying 2 Slurpees and headed home. Although my son was sitting on the couch, there were no traces of Doritos and the trashcans had been taken in.
You should have seen the surprise on his sweet face when I handed him a Slurpee. He even said, "Thank you, Mom."
As for my husband, maybe he'll get the code words right next time.