I am not supposed to shop at Walmart. Due to unfair labor practices, crappy merchandise, and incompetent employees, my husband and I really don't go there.
Unless I am desperate.
So, today I went there to look at the bedding. I need a new comforter or quilt for my bed and I am running out of affordable options. I left my son in the car, eating a burger and fries, and promised to be back in a few minutes. Sure enough, I found a beautiful quilt and there was only one left. I wrote down all the information about it, thinking I could go online and buy it somewhere else. Is that cheating?
I headed back to my car and before I slid into the driver's seat I stepped in a melted wad of chewing gum. It made a green, gooey, bridge from the pavement, to the bottom of my flip-flop, to my car mat. Mother F!
"Quick, get me a napkin!" I yelled at my son. Of course there were none in the glove compartment. All I had were the leftover, ketchup-smeared ones from his lunch.
The car was freakin' hot. I was trying to scrape mint flavored gum off my shoe with a napkin soaked in grease and ketchup. The smell was making me gag.
All I could think of was, "That's what you get for going to Walmart."