Random Compliments

My son and I were watching "The Biggest Loser" when one of the contestants looked disappointed for losing 8 pounds in a week.

"I wish I could lose 8 pounds in a month," I said.

"Yeah, but you're skinny-fat, Mom.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," he explained, "You are kinda big, but compared to a really fat person you are skinny."

Hmmm. Thank you?

* * *

One time I was putting on my black Converse All Stars and he said, "Are you trying to look like a teenager?"

Oh, hell no!

* * *

Recently I was sitting next to him on bleachers watching my husband race his car. I leaned in close to tell him something over the loud engine noise.

"You breath smells like mint and bad breath," he said, wincing.


Well, I was chewing gum and had just eaten a hot dog.

* * *

I don't want to leave my husband out so let me tell you that whenever I ask him if something makes my butt look big, he always replies, "Yes".

-Lela