Dear Governor Schwarzenegger

I was sitting on my front porch yesterday with my neighbor when we heard a helicopter approaching. My home is a few houses down from the junior high school, so I jokingly said, "They are probably headed to the school to break up a fight."

Then we heard a siren . . . about 50 yards away. Next, a voice over a loud speaker repeating, "Break it up. Get on your bikes and go home."

No way.

Thank goodness my teenage son was not at the school, but in our house eating Tostitos on the couch with some friends (and getting crumbs all over the place).

"The cops are busting up a fight at your school. Who do you think it is?" I yelled into the house.

My son proceeded to run out the door, hop on his bike, and head for the school.

"They just said to get on your bikes and go home!" Oh well. "Don't get arrested!" I added, as he sped down the street.

My son returned a few minutes later with a report. "Some kid told me it started out between 2 eighth graders," he said, "then a bunch more kids joined in."

"Like West Side Story!" I said, trying to sound cool.

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

Don't you think it's odd that a police helicopter was deployed for an after school fight? The fact that they had to tell the kids to "Get on your bikes and go home," instead of "Drop your weapons," proves that it was a waste of taxpayer's money.

No wonder the state of California is broke.

-Lela

I'm In Love....

...with my dental hygienist.

Not that kinda love. Get real, here.


See, I HATE going to the dentist. The reasons are many, but the biggest one stems from years spent going to a dentist with an evil-scraper-dental-hygienist. She was awful.

First, she was a non-stop talker. About her personal life, as if I care. And clearly, I couldn't respond, because her fist was in my mouth. But more important, she used teeth cleanings to take out all her anger in the world. I am sure of it. Let me preface this by saying that I have good dental hygiene. I am actually OCD about flossing and brushing. Truly.

This was a typical session with the evil-scraper-dental-hygienist (ESDH):

Tooth #1 - scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, (ouch, dammit, my gums are bleeding, will she ever move on?) scrape, scrape, scrape
Tooth #2 - (thank God, she's left #1) scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape - pause - back to #1, scrape, scrape (shit, you already did that one!) - back to #2, scrape, scrape
Tooth #3 - scrape, scrape, scrape - pause - back to #1 - (holy mother of sheep, why are you back on that tooth again? Do I have any enamel left?) - back to #3 - scrape, scrape, scrape
And so it would go on through my whole mouth, until there was nothing left but sore, bleeding gums. I swear she managed to poke my gums at every tooth. It hurt. It took forever. And she TALKED.THE.WHOLE.TIME.

So yeah, not my favorite time of the year.

But I finally left that dentist, and all their early 1980's decor, complete with waiting room chairs whose foam cushions had many decades ago lost their 'cushion'. I love my new dentist. They are nice and friendly and awesome. The first time I saw them, I had to have some fillings replaced, which is always more trauma for me than I will go into. But I remember thinking the cleaning wasn't so bad.

I saw them again today. The hygienist was fast and efficient and there was minimal gum involvement, which meant NO PAIN. And my teeth felt awesome when she was done. Way better than ESDH ever left my teeth. I found it interesting that today's girl actually stopped to sharpen her tool two different times. At first it scared me, but then I thought - could it be that ESDH had DULL tools? Was that why it HURT? Or maybe she was the dull tool.... whatever.

And now the sad news. Today's girl is moving to Hawaii with her boyfriend in two months. That was my first and last session with Awesome-Dental-Hygienist. If my teeth could cry, they would.

***Ally

My son saw a picture of a cake in a magazine and asked if I would make it for his birthday. I knew it was going to be a time-consuming task, and I didn't have half the ingredients in my house, but I said yes, cuz that's what moms do. Each of the 4 layers was topped with a ganache made from dark chocolate and heavy cream, then topped with creme de menthe frosting loaded with 4 1/2 sticks of butter, more cream, and sugar. I think it turned out pretty good. Ten minutes after we took this picture it started to crack and collapse, but it tasted delicious.

Oh, and it was his 13th birthday on Sunday. Yup, I am officially a mother of a teenager.

Wish me luck.

-Lela

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!

... Award! And Boot Camp, Kind Of

Melissa at My Life and How It's Going gave us this great award! Her baby boy just turned THREE - you should see the cute past birthday pictures that she posted. Check her out!
Thanks Melissa!
As much as we'd like to individually hand out this award, there are so many of you that are totally deserving. Your blogs keep us entertained and grounded. So if you are one of our followers, know that we read you often. And grab this award for yourself and enjoy! You bloggers rock!

Lela & Ally


Now Boot Camp. Lela totally rocks and gets up at 5:30am two or three mornings a week to do a Boot Camp workout. Outside. She's gotten strong and fit and I'm jealous that she lives somewhere that it's actually possible to do that pretty much year 'round. (Southern California)

I'm usually pretty good about working out, but towards the end of last year we had family upheaval, followed by holidays, followed by depression. And now I need to get moving again.

So this past Saturday it was raining. Again. But I needed to exercise and I was being too fair-weather to put on my rain gear and head out. So I looked at the fitness shows on cable - On Demand.

I ended up doing the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Bod Squad Bootcamp workout. Don't ask. I was desperate. And it was better than Billy Blanks Jr Cardioke, which includes hip hop dance and singing. Really. Cause my son and I checked it out. I had almost convinced him to do it to learn to dance better (I could see it in his eyes, even though he was saying no, no, no), but then he heard the singing and walked away. Actually he said, "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?" Before he walked away. (Yes, BB Jr is the son of Tae Bo Billy Blanks) Anyway.

Let's just say that the trainer is this huge, black, muscle bound, hard body guy in camo pants and boots and a super too tight, black, underarmour-type shirt with a Boot Camp hat. He is super easy going and hilarious. He says, "This is what we're going to do next" about 100 times. And they only do every thing to a count of 8, so I started out thinking, "this is too easy, it won't be a good workout". But he kept saying, "I know you want to keep going, just wait for it". So I kept their counts and felt okay at the end. I mean, I probably could have used a little more cardio, but at least I felt like I'd had a work out. And yes, I was sore the next day. It's been a while since I've done an upper body work out.

Turns out the trainer is a retired Army Drill Sergeant, which explains the camo pants and boots. And clearly he's a workout guru, because his muslces have muscles of their own.

Reality is, Lela would laugh at this work out. It really wasn't that hard. But hey, I didn't have to pay for it and I got to work out with perfect bodied twenty year olds who never broke a sweat. Awesome. Nothing like an ego bashing to go with your workout.

***Ally

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly - Reviewing the Week

It's a week in review!

The Good: Some time ago, we switched our home phone land line to the same carrier as our cable, along with our internet. You know, the whole package deal, save a zillion dollars a month and get free HBO for 6 months, blah, blah, blah. We kept HBO longer, because we had to finish the season of Entourage. But that's beside the point.

The point is, that eventually the specials ran out an the bill crept up and now everything is full price again. Still supposedly cheaper than paying the three utilities separately, but a hefty chunk of change.

So my husband calls Comcast and says we're thinking of switching carriers, can they lower our bill? She says, let me check what we have. And proceeded to give us all the discounts they are currently giving new subscribers, effectively lowering our bill by THIRTY DOLLARS A MONTH. Yes, you read it right. AND (there's more), as she realized the Showtime special had run out, she instead gave us a $60 credit and then gave us 6 months of Showtime at $10 per month - and if you don't like math, it's 6 months of free Showtime.

WooHoo!

The Bad: I try to be green, I do. I take my reusable bags to the grocery store. The last thing we need in this house is another plastic bag. So it's finally my turn, because I have, as usual, selected the slowest checker in the store. Who has total smoker's hack and raspy smoker's voice - who *sometimes* hacks into her elbow, instead of the air. That I'm breathing. My bags are the first thing on the belt. Less that one foot in front of her. But she had asked me to leave the milk and juice cartons in the cart - where she scanned them as put them in plastic. Grrrr. Then goes, "Oh, I didn't see your bags!" and lifts the plastic bag of milk cartons and puts the whole thing into a reusable bag - plastic bag and all. LAME!

The Ugly: At work, we have one bathroom. It's a small office. But there are three therapists in the office (muscular, not personality disorder - though I could personally use one of those, too) with a fairly healthy stream of patients coming through. So, you know, the bathroom should get regular cleaning. Like daily, not monthly. And seeing as how myself and one other therapist are just contractors, and we don't actually own the business - IT'S NOT OUR JOB. However, when my patients show up and use the bathroom, and there is pink & black mildew starting to streak down the back of the bowl and form a ring, and the soap dispenser is all gummed up underneath, and the floor looks like construction workers have been walking on it, it makes us look kinda bad. Something needed to be done. I tried waiting it out, I did. But I finally broke down and did a quick once over. A squirt of cleaner in the toilet and a quick brush with the nastiest toilet brush I may have ever seen. Clorox wipes on the seat, lid, etc. Quick scrub of the sink and a VERY surface sweep and wipe of the floor.

And he NEVER NOTICED. How do you NOT notice that it actually looks and smells CLEAN in the bathroom???? TOTAL OWNER FAIL. And as Lela pointed out, I am not lame for doing it, I am lame for not telling the owner to do it. I hate confrontation, and he would have gotten snippy. Sometimes, it's less of a headache to do it yourself. Sigh.

Remember? Past Days of Rockin' Style.

Okay, some of you younger readers may not remember this hideous fad. Or, maybe someone in your family had one. Of course, some of you older readers maybe be lucky enough not to have experienced it either. If so, count your blessings. And I apologize to those of you that still have yours. And still like it.

See we had this neighbor couple when I was growing up. They were my grandparents age. Super sweet. She crocheted. Not just any crochet, but a special kind of hat. This kind of hat:





Oh yeah. They were awesome. I myself, was a bit young for beer cans, so she made me a special one with Shasta Creme Soda cans. I rocked that hat.

No, seriously, I did not wear the hat. Although I'm pretty sure I may have had to pose for a picture in it. And I did keep it for a good long time. And I secretly (or maybe not so secretly - who can remember that far back?) liked the hat.

Now here's the good news for you. You can let your fingers carry you right over to ebay because last time I looked, someone was selling two different versions of the Mountain Dew hat. What are you waiting for? You know you want one!

Confession: While we're talking hot styles. If you read Lela's post from Monday, you'll notice she talked about overalls. Okay, I admit that my pair of overalls still hangs in the very back of my closet. Because I'm convinced they will someday come back into style. I realize that will be so far in the future that my pair will be considered vintage, which will just make them cooler. As long as the tube top underneath them doesn't make a style return, too. Cause that will just not be pretty on my old self by then. And when all else fails I can turn them into a great farm girl/hillbilly costume for Halloween.

Rockin' the vintage style,
***Ally

The Lord Giveth . . .

We bought my son a lacrosse stick for Christmas. Well, my husband "bought" it. We agreed to get him one because he signed up for lacrosse and had been borrowing a stick, which he accidentally bent during practice. To make a long story short, my husband spent $100 on a 6 foot pole that didn't even come with a net on the end of it. I would not have spent that much money for the obvious following reasons: That's a lot of money, it didn't even come with a net, my son is 12, that's a lot of money. Oh, I already said that.

Not long after Christmas my husband and son returned from the lacrosse store with a new green and gold net for the end of the stick.

"How much did that cost?" I asked.

"They put the net on for free, Mom."

"But how much did the net cost?" I asked, no dummy to the diversion tactic.

"Only thirty-five dollars," my son said, as if it were only thirty-five cents.

Now is a good time to tell you that lacrosse is a very expensive sport. This is my son's first season ever and between sign-up fees and equipment, we could have bought a new couch. Not that we need a new couch, but hey, that's a lot of dough.

And my son loved that expensive, custom stick.

But the Lord works in mysterious ways because on the way to the game, that stick fell out of the back of my friend's truck.

They realized it when they got to the field and it wasn't there. That, and the fact that another kid on the team said, "Hey, is your stick green? No way, cuz I saw it on the freeway."

Did I mention I live in Southern California and this was a Saturday night?

My husband and I hopped in our car and tried to retrace the path our friend took to the field with our son and his friend. We never saw it and even if we did, how were we going to retrieve it safely on the freakin' freeway?

My poor son. He ended up playing with the borrowed, bent stick and their team got their butts kicked. My husband talked to the dad of the kid who saw the stick on the freeway and gathered some more intel about its true location: The carpool lane of the 55 freeway overpass. Forgetaboutit.

But I said my prayer to Jesus asking that we find it and please let us not die getting it back. Amen.

All I can say is that we got it. And it was barely scratched. And my husband did not die running across the carpool lane of the 55 freeway in the middle of the night.

See, sometimes God reminds us not to hang on too tightly to our worldly possessions because they can be taken away at any time.

And sometimes, given back.

-Lela

Winter Blues... and Sunshine!

Winter never used to bother me. I used to look forward to pulling out the sweaters and warm socks and cuddling with a blanket in storm.

Unfortunately, since I live in the Seattle area, none of that appeals to me anymore. I think I would enjoy it for a three day weekend. Now? Now, I'd prefer to get up and put on shorts and a tank top everyday and know I would be perfectly warm like that. And truth be told, I could even bundle up for cold, if it were sunny more. A lot more.

The relentless gray of the northwest can get on my nerves and get me down sometimes. I'm usually good through January 1st because I've got the holidays to carry me through. But after that? That's when the blues set in.

Last week it rained, and rained, and rained and rained. Gray, gray, gray. I opened all the blinds and still felt like the house was a cave. My crankiness increased, my patience decreased and all I wanted was OUT.

Then one morning I woke up, pulled the curtains open on the window on the way downstairs and saw this:


That, my friends, is Mt. Rainier in the distance. Now it's certainly not the best view in the area, especially with that annoying tree that I can't find anyone to go drive rusty spikes into that has grown across it's front. But it's still the mountain, and that is blue sky, clouds tinted pink with the sunrise. SUNRISE. YES, the sun was coming out!!!!

Just when I thought I would rather scratch out my eyes that live through another gray day, I am reminded that the area in which I live can be absolutely gorgeous.

Ah, what a lift to my spirits the good old sun can be!

***Ally

What I Meant To Say Wednesday

Chief at Chief's Hiding From The Kids started this new play along. Check it out!

What I said to my SIL:
Thanks for the call. I would really appreciate it if you could ship my two camis that went missing on our trip back to me. That would be great, thanks. Not sure how they would end up in a pile of carpet samples across the room from the drying rack?? Weird.

What I meant to say to my SIL:
Thanks for the call. Yes, you can ship the camis that mysteriously went missing during our trip over two full months ago. And please do so at your own expense, because I've already had to replace them. I never have quite been able to figure out how they up and disappeared all of a sudden, considering I did all my laundry completely separate from anyone else's, and was very conscientious about getting my stuff out of everyone's way and keeping it in my suitcase. And isn't it funny how you and your girls all swore you hadn't seen them and then you suddenly "found" them this weekend when no one else was around. And found them in a pile of carpet samples, none-the-less. Cause I know I didn't pick them up and think, "Oh, I'll just lay them here in a pile of carpet samples for safe keeping." I can't imagine how they must have grown legs, hopped down from that drying rack and run across the room to hide themselves in a pile of junk. And only those, too - how funny that nothing else was with them. I wish I'd had a hidden video camera to catch that one. We could have made some money selling that video! So, yeah, ship them. That'll be great.

Yep, that's what I meant to say. In my head.

***Ally

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!

Ridiculous

"When enough people are ridiculous it begins to look normal."


I heard this quote from a movie the other day. The lead character was in her 50's (but in GREAT shape) and said she wanted to wear mini skirts. When her friend told her she would look ridiculous, the 50-year-old woman replied with the above quote. Which got me thinkin' . . .


What ridiculous things do I wish were normal? Disclaimer: this applies to women like me in their 40's or older.


1. Muffin tops. I am tired of trying to conceal mine.


2. Going braless. No more anxiety when I have to buy a new one and no more backfat bulge through my t-shirts.


3. Overalls. So comfortable and forgiving, even if they do make my ass look big.


4. Big asses.


5. Gray roots. How freeing (and cost effective) not to have to dye my hair ever again.


6. Facial hair. Not that I have a lot, it would just be nice to throw away the tweezers and bleach.


I took a picture of myself braless wearing overalls that made my ass look huge. My muffin top is in full form, as well as my gray roots. You can't really see my unwanted facial hair, though. Click HERE to view it.

I can't believe you thought I was serious. That would be ridiculous!

-Lela

And the Winners Are.....

Our first giveaway is complete, and the winners are:

Handmade card set (by Lela) - InspiredDreamer at Out of the Extrodinary.

Bucky Eye Mask - Michele P. at Creative Writings 101.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Thanks to everyone for entering! It was a fun giveaway, and we might just have to do more!

We love you all and appreciate every read and every comment!

***Ally & Lela

Last Day to Enter Our Giveaway!

This is it! Click HERE for all the fun!

I Totally Love My Family

I do. For real. More than I could ever express in words. They are more important to me than anything.

But..... You knew that was coming, right? Why else would I start a post with my undying love for my family?

Do you ever have one of those nights? I'm desperately trying to prepare a lesson plan for the NEXT MORNING. And it's after 9:00. And I really want to get to bed at a decent time. And I need to do this and do that. And I got home late.

And this is what I hear.

Mom? Can you do this for me?

(five minutes)

Mom? Do you want to hear what happened?

(five minutes)

Mom? Can you do that for me?

(five minutes)

Mom? Can I get a ride to school early tomorrow?

(five minutes)

Mom? Have you seen my ________ (fill in the blank - who can remember?)

(five minutes)

Mom? Look at this...

(five minutes)

Mom? What do I do with this zit? (yes, he knows I am the zit expert in the house)

(five minutes)

And then he's pushing his way onto my desk to plug his laptop into the printer to print homework that should have been printed two hours ago....

You get the idea. And I have only ONE child - and he's 15! How in the world do those of you with MULTIPLE little ones get ANYTHING done? Oh, I get it, that's why you all say you never sleep! It totally makes sense now. Because I love this child more than anything, and I cherish every moment with him, and I love that he actually still LIKES his parents at 15, and I am getting more anxiety with every passing month that I only have him for 3-1/2 more years until he's off to college. I'm already planning the care packages I will send him and the embarrassing parent visits I will make to his college town. BUT DAMMIT, I just wanted to get my project done!!!

Sigh. All projects will wait. And he still goes to bed at a decent hour, so I won't be up THAT late, right? Plus, just talking about it, I've probably just jinxed myself and now he will live at home and go to community college in our hometown anyway.

Loving my family,
***Ally

Sleeping, Awake, Sleeping, Awake - ARGH!

Some things are so ridiculous in hindsight.

I normally don't have any trouble falling asleep. In fact, I irritate my husband because I can nod off before he can settle into his pillow. And once asleep, small noises, tv, etc rarely wake me up or disturb me. But every so often....

And last night was one of those. I read until I was falling asleep, reading the same paragraph of my book multiple times until I gave in and turned off the light. I snuggled in and began to drift, half dreaming about greeting cards or some such nonsense. Then BAM. I'm awake. I reposition, snuggle back in and start to drift off again, thinking about airplanes (I've got vacation on the brain, remember). BAM. I'm awake again. Process repeats again - different dream, same BAM.

Now I'm starting to get the insomnia anxiety - after all, I have to be up early for work. And I start worrying - what if I can't fall asleep? What if I'm too tired tomorrow? In the light of day, these thoughts are ridiculous, but when trying to sleep, they are overwhelming. I get up and decide to take a couple Tylenol PM (which I still don't know why they are in my house, as I've never bought them in my life and rarely if ever take sleep aids).

Back into bed, I snuggle in and wait for the drift. And then I hear it. My husband is turning off his computer, taking the dog out. I'm literally racing him now, trying to go to sleep before he comes to bed so he doesn't wake me up out of my drift. Because it's waking out of the drift that brings on the full fledged insomnia.

He comes into the bedroom, bangs into a door, proceeds into the bathroom, where he bangs into ANOTHER door, letting out a muffled swear. WTH? I'm still racing him as I hear him brush his teeth. He crawls into bed gets comfortable and whispers, "I love you." Which he sweetly does every night. I, of course, reply that I love him too.

But what I wanted to say was "SHUTUPDON'TWAKEMEUPUNLESSYOUWANTTODEALWITHMEBEINGACOMPLETENIGHTMAREALLDAYTOMRROW!"
But instead I fell asleep. Ridiculous, indeed.
***Ally

Since You Asked . . .

Here we are! Ally (left) and Lela (right), circa 2009 in Huntington Beach, California. That is as recent as it gets since we live so far apart, Ally in Seattle and me in California.

I'm shutting up now. It's Wordless Wednesday.

-Lela

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!









Don't forget to check out our Giveaway!

What's A Picture Worth?

That's me, Lela, on the left and Ally with the braces on the right. Aren't we dorky? We were probably 13 or 14 in that picture, camping with my parents and grandparents in Washington. I remember that cabin had no hot running water, and my mom dumped buckets of freezing water over our heads so we could wash our hair. Like any cute boys were going to see us up in the middle of nowhere, but we were teenagers!

Today my almost-teenage son got his beloved XBox privileges taken away and had to find other fun things to do with his friends. I watched through the window as he rode his bike and played lacrosse in the street, boys stuff.

One of the things Ally and I used to do when we were bored on rainy Seattle days and nights was to dress up and take stupid pictures of each other. Remember, this was before the Internet, Ipods, and cell phones. It's a wonder we survived at all, I know. Anyway, I had my cheesy Disc camera and Ally had something better, I'm sure, because she was a spoiled only child. (Just kidding, Ally, but you did have that awesome rainbow comforter and giant matching rainbow pillow I never got.)

We would dress up in various"outfits", usually with a punk rock theme, with layers of Ally's mother's make up on our faces, and snap away. There is a picture of Ally with boots on, laying on her stomach on the couch, chin resting on her folded hands. One of us had the great idea of positioning a hairdryer on the arm of the couch to give the effect of windblown hair. I told you we were bored and it was the 80's.

When we got the film developed (remember that?) you could totally see the little propped-up hairdryer in the picture! That is the picture I wanted to post, but couldn't find it. Maybe Ally has it somewhere.

I have tons of pictures of Ally and me, from grade school, to prom, to wedding, to pregnant, to now. In the upcoming months I plan to dig them out and post them for a good laugh, and for me, a sweet memory.

Stay tuned.

-Lela

PS - Don't forget to check out our giveaway!

A Q& A with Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka is having a contest! She's a 'Business' now - Check it out!

She listed some questions to answer on your own blog, so here goes:

1) Dave and I have a long-standing feud over cheese in a can. He thinks it’s food of The Gods while I think it’s probably Of The Devil. Your take?

Devil. No doubt. You can not call yellow processed goo that comes out of a can 'food'.

2) Is there any way you can think of to make the elder Gosselins go away? I AM ALL EARS.

Oh man, I wish I knew. Please let them go away! I'd have to live in a bubble to stop seeing or hearing about them!

3) Who is your ridiculous “I can’t admit this to anyone in polite company lest I be banned from life” crush?

Matthew Perry. I don't know why. Somewhere back in the middle of Friends and Fools Rush In, it just happened. I know, I know! Don't make fun!

4) If you could fuck it all and pursue your dream (assuming, of course, you were going to be GOOD at it), what would that dream be?

Write. And have a completely organic farm. On Maui.

5) They say “living well is the best revenge.” I think they are wrong. Do you?

Oh, I don't know. I have a certain personal relationship with a certain pain in my ass, that I know for a fact is totally irritated by the fact she thinks we live 'well'. Not we$$, but well... as in decent people, doing decent things. Somehow it just irritates the hell out of her because she really wants us to be assholes so she has reason to hate us. (It's just her view - please don't tell her any different!) And some how the fact that we make her miserable by living "well", is pretty sweet revenge for all the crap she's thrown our way.

6) What is the most humiliation you’ve experienced in public that you’d be willing to admit to The Internet?

At the airport to pick up a girlfriend - we walked into the bathroom and it was a full 60 seconds, talking non-stop, before either of us realized we were in the men's room. She was already sitting on the pot.

7) Are you honest with The Internet? Like, if I came over to your house tonight (heh)(I’m coming over, yo)(heh) would I be surprised at who I found?

No surprises here. That's what's so great about the internet! I get to be me!

8 ) If you could have one talent that you don’t currently possess, what would it be?

Singing. Well. I'm sure tomorrow I'll think of something else, but that's what's in my head today.

9) There’s not always room for Jello. Is there?

God I hope not!

10) What’s your guiltiest of the guilty pleasures?

Semisweet chocolate chips out of the bag. A whole day in my pajamas.

There it is. A little bit of me.

***Ally

PS - Don't forget to check out our giveaway!

Our FIRST Ever GIVE-AWAY!!

Things that make you go "Ahhhhh".

That's what we're giving away. Just to kick off the year with a little fun. Or maybe because somewhere in last month's craziness we hit 100 posts. Or maybe because we hit 50 followers (tell your friends, we'd still like more!). Or maybe just because we want to give stuff away to say THANKS for reading our ramblings! You guys are the BEST!

So what are we giving away? Well, the first winner will get this super cool card set, handmade by Lela. She is one creative lady and she sold a bunch of these great sets at a craft fair - they went like hot cakes! There's a set of five photo cards in a handmade felt case. Hard to photograph, but you'll have to trust me - they're great! I love mine so much, I hate to send them away to people. But I'm weird like that.


The next winner will get this bucky® Serena Cool Therapy Spa Mask - it's a chillable eye mask with flax seeds and lavendar to put over your eyes when you have a migraine, puffy eyes, sinus pain, maddening bosses, crazed kids, annoying husbands, whatever.


Yep - two items, two winners.

What do you have to do to win? Let's keep it simple, shall we? You need to leave a comment on this post - simple. Want more entries? If you are, or become, a follower - another entry. Let us know you are a follower in your comment. And if you post a link to this giveaway on your blog, we'll give you an another entry. Just be sure to come back here and tell us about your link in a comment so we can give you your entry.

Giveaway ends next Saturday, January 16th, so get those comments rolling. We'll hold a very scientific, random drawing by putting all your entries on the floor and choosing the one my dog sniffs first. Just kidding - we'll draw the winners randomly from all entries.

From the sounds of it, half of you are snowed into your houses anyway - what better stuff do you have to do than enter our giveaway? And for those of you that ARE snowed in - sorry - hope you thaw out soon! I know what can happen when an otherwise normal family gets snowed into their homes for days on end!

Ally & Lela

What Not To Say In A Business Plan...

I teach a business course for a massage therapy training school. The business course is four hours a week, for 17 weeks. During that time, the students get all the components to put together a feasibility business plan. We use an outline provided by a division of the SBA. It's specific. It's easy to follow. We go over each section of the plan... in detail.

Here's what should NOT be in a business plan that is turned into me for a grade. Assuming you want that grade to be passing. Ahem - these may or may not have been included in a business plan turned in this week by one of my students. (Who I can guarantee would not read this blog in a million and a half years)

In competitor analysis, describing who his competitor in the market are: "My competitors are simply that, competitors." ... wtf?

In marketing plan: "Making up flyers and posting them around, creating business cards and spreading them to friends and families, the name of my business will grow so fast that I will soon have to turn people away." ....oh I had to wipe tears of laughter away after that one....

In financial plan: "The more things that you try and do with your business, the more headaches and eventually the more people you will have to hire on to deal with the messes."

In an appendix where they were asked to list all licenses, permits and insurances required to practice: "A couple licenses, forms and documentation posted, and my home office will be ready to go."

A target market profile: "People with a lot of money" ...Duh. Um, were you sleeping the day I told the class that people with money was NOT an acceptable target market?

In Opening & Closing Procedures: "Take money & checks home every night." ...wait - you said you were opening a home based business. Wha?!?!

This person may or may not be a male. And this male may or may not have said that he was opening a home-based massage therapy business in a residential neighborhood. And he may or may not have said he believes customers will choose him, the male stranger working out of his HOUSE, over a well-known massage therapy clinic with lots of people around and a decent reputation. Because his price will be $5 lower.

Disclaimer: When first reading this business plan, I may or may not have, for a brief moment, considered the possibility that I am a horrible teacher and did not get my points across. Then I read the next two students' business plans that were sparkling examples of well thought out, successful pieces of work. Nah - it's not me.

One word: Fail.

***Ally, the Frustrated Instructor

How To Make Your Preteen Mad In The Morning

My son is 12 and has the most beautiful, blond hair. It flows to his shoulders and has natural highlights and waves. He has been mistaken for a girl on occasion, which he does NOT like, yet never wants a haircut.

Last night he must have gone to bed with wet hair and slept like a maniac because when he came downstairs for breakfast I said, "You look like Sigmund and the Sea Monsters." Which he did, minus the green color and happy disposition.

I think I am hilarious and couldn't stop laughing at the resemblance. My tired, grouchy son wasn't so pleased.

Or maybe he was mad because he overslept, again, and I had to wake him up by yelling and pounding on the wall. Or that he couldn't find his favorite sweatshirt because he left it outside overnight in the neighbor's driveway. Or maybe it was the healthy breakfast I made instead of a donut and chocolate milk.

Whatever his problem was, telling him he looked like a Sid and Marty Krofft character (even though it was true) didn't make him happy.

But I thought it was pretty funny.

-Lela, the comedian mom

Aging: Things THEY Don't Tell You

You hear about aging. You hear your mom complain, your grandma complain, your teacher, your babysitter. You hear it all as you grow up. They complain about eyesight, arthritis, hearing loss. But it's what they don't say that you should be afraid of.

There are things 'they' don't tell you about aging. I don't know who 'they' are. Your female relatives, the media, the secret government agency on aging. Whatever. I just know 'they' don't tell you and you don't know until it happens.

Acne is not a teenage disease. It can happen with aging. Thank hormones and peri-menopause.

Oh, and peri-menopause. Did you ever hear of peri-menopause when you were 13? Menopause, yes. But not peri-menopause. Thank you very much. You never heard your mom complain about that one, did you?

Chin hairs. And lip hairs. And random strange hairs. You know this is a national epidemic. Have you gone a single day without hearing a commercial for a laser hair removal center? No one talked about hair removal anywhere but your bikini line when I was a teenager. What is up with all the EXTRA HAIR and AGING?? Didn't Grandma ever tell you she doesn't have to shave her legs any more because she doesn't get hair there very much?? THAT was the day I was looking forward to!

Gray hairs. They do not just happen on your head. They pop up in eyebrows. That really stiff chin hair comes in white one day. And the nether regions. 'Nough said. Did your mom tell you THAT?

Nipple hairs. I am happy to report that this is NOT a problem for me, (hey, I have the other four out of five!) but ladies I'm hearing this one over and over. And I guarantee you Grandma NEVER said "Just wait 'till you get older and get hair on your nipples".

Oh, the joys of aging. (You young readers just wait. You don't know what's coming.)

***Ally

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!

It's Monday - Back to the Grind

Why does that sounds so.... mundane?

But it is indeed Monday, which means a return to a normal schedule.
No more sleeping in for the teenager. (10am)
No more sleeping in for me. (7-7:30am)
No more lazing around in pajamas. (That was SO awesome.)
No more exercising whenever I feel like it. (That too, was nice)
No more showering whenever I feel like it. (Okay, won't hurt me to stick to a schedule there and stop walking around the house looking like anything BUT the hot wife my husband thinks he married.)
No more watching horrible tv any time of day, and enjoying it.

Instead,
The teenager is up at 6.
I am up at 6:30.
I must actually shower and get dressed.
I must schedule my workouts around my work schedule.
I must only watch horrible tv in the late evenings - and only when there's time, at that.
The teenager has 4 baseball workouts a week again, to which he must be taxied.

Of course the husband is still unemployed, and the contract work he does is done from his home office. So he can sleep in, stay in pajamas, work out at lunch time, shower in the afternoon... Okay, he doesn't watch tv at all during the day. I won't tell him what he's missing. And I won't feel envious. Most of the time. EXCEPT when I'm really tired and wishing I could stay in bed/stay in pj's/not take a shower/have the luxury of a workout when I've got no time.

Ah, the life of normalcy. Or at least our normal. For now.

And in reality, there's something comforting about a normal schedule, a normal routine. It assures us that life is moving forward as it should.

Yawn - do you want to go to sleep now? Click somewhere else? BECAUSE WHO AM I KIDDING HERE?? I'm crying tears people! I want the last couple of four day weekends to happen EVERY week (without the celebrations and expenses and stresses). I want sleep ins and jammies and lazy days! Those were awesome! [sniffle, sniffle]

A little honesty from Ally on an early Monday morning. Sigh.

***Ally

What's In Your Bag?

This morning at church we received a small brown paper bag in our bulletin. I whispered to my friend sitting next to me, "What is this for?"

My friend, always the comedian, said, "It is for a teeny, tiny food drive."

Turns out the pastor wanted the whole congregation (which is pretty huge) to open their bags, write down their sins, put them in the bag, then lay them down at the altar. This is an exercise popularly used at Weight Watchers meetings and corporate seminars, in various forms, and I really didn't feel like doing it.

But the Lord works in mysterious ways. Or maybe it was peer pressure. Suddenly, hundreds of people were walking to the front of the church with their little brown bags, some with tears in their eyes, some with smiles, but all with no shame. I figured, "Might as well."

Now, we were not supposed to show anyone what we wrote down. The pastor said he would collect them all and throw them in the trash, with only our eyes and God's seeing them, but this is my blog and I will share.

I didn't have time to get specific with names and details, so I quickly wrote down: Gluttony, pride and anger.

Then I followed the crowd to the front of the church and dropped my bag in the bin.

When I returned to my seat my friend whispered that she needed a bigger bag. I am sure we all do.

What's in your bag?

-Lela

January 2010 - WOO HOO!!! And Saturday Ramblings...

It's really here! 2010! I'm so excited!

Let me tell you how I started it off. I stayed in my pajamas all day. ALL day.

I can talk a good relaxation story, but the truth is, I don't sit and do nothing very well. Give me an hour or two and then I start grumping because the day's half gone and I still have to shower and I haven't done anything and I don't have time to get anything done - blah, blah, blah. It's an inherited gene from my dad, I'm sure of it.

I think my family was in some sort of shock. I DID post a bunch of my son's lego sets on ebay (for which he will make a killing, as they are all retired sets - minus my 10% fee for doing the work for him - yes, I'm serious - he needs to learn how the real world works!). And then I layed around on the couch watching Wayne Dyer on PBS, then some other dude telling me to eat healthy - yeah, yeah, I know. At 3:30, I got in the shower. I didn't wash my hair, and when I got out, I just put on a clean pair of pajamas. Then reruns of Criminal Minds, and crap like that. Around 5:00, I actually started putting the really large pile of Christmas decorations I had taken down into their respective Rubbermaid Totes. Somehow the 9ft tree went back into the 5 ft box. (Not my department - my husband managed that amazing feat.) All while watching television. And then we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Which was odd, to say the least. Now I know it sounds like I did a lot, with the ebay and the decorations - but I DIDN'T, I swear!

So I had this amazing lazy day (for me, anyway) AND my living room looks normal again! Now THAT is a good start to 2010!

Today, however, is another story. Today I start training for my Big Climb in March. And being the stormy day that it is, I guess I will throw the treadmill on some horrifically steep incline and get to it. Then I have to take a shower (where I actually wash my hair so I can appear in public without people thinking I'm homeless) and go grocery shopping so my family can eat again.

I don't really do resolutions, because, well, I don't like failure. HOWEVER, I am setting some goals for 2010.
1. To stop havinging such a negative bitchy mentality, and work on a more positive outlook.
2. To get off my ass be more healthy by sticking to my regular exercise routine, even when life gets stressful (because that's supposed to help the stress, right?).
3. To update the look of this blog.
4. To keep my annoying as hell SIL out of my head - in other words, quit letting her negativity rule my thoughts and drag me to that place of ugliness. Step one of this involves a cute little piggy bank - when I have any negative thoughts of her, I write them down and drop the little slip of paper in the bank, pat the piggy on the head, and walk away. Awesome. I've been doing it for three days - so far, so good. (Yes, it can be a daily thing with her if she is communicating with us)
5. To catch up on reading all your blogs that I couldn't keep up with through the holidays. That might involve another lazy day in pajamas! Yay!

Yep, 5 is enough. No reason to overload.
Hope you set some reasonable goals or resolutions this year. Let the good times begin!

***Ally

Happy New Year - HAPPY 2010!!!

Thank God for 2010. Seriously. I really do pray and give thanks to God for a new year. A new decade.

I won't pretend, with funny wit and humor, that 2009 has been a good year for me. It has not. Now don't get me wrong, there have been many good times! One of my favorite quotes is, "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day." And I believe that, and try to live by it. Some days it's harder than others.

Without dragging you through my dreadful 2009 in too much detail, I will say this - I lost a cousin, my mother-in-law, and my step-brother. Three deaths. We nearly lost my stepfather, and thank God we didn't, but he is still in physical rehab with a long road ahead of him and a battle against cancer once he gets there. My husband is still unemployed - thank you economy and lay-offs (after 12 years with the company). Throw in a completely psycho sister-in-law who consumed many days of my energy. It's been a rough year.

So I say BRING ON 2010!!! I can feel the excitement of a new year, a new beginning, a fresh slate. It's lifting me up and getting me through.

Or maybe what's getting me through is the fact that I am leaving for MAUI in FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS!!!!!!!!! Yessirree. Maui. Here I come. 10 blissful days of peace! My first true love - Maui. The first three days will be just me and my husband holed up in one of the more remote areas of the island. At a cottage right at the beach. Oh pure heaven. My son will then join us and we have 7 more days in a huge condo on the beach. Aloooohaaaa! Can you say total relaxation? Okay, I'm kind of getting obnoxious here. Sorry.

But yes, I have high hopes and a positive attitude for 2010. It's a nice number. It'll be a good year. And I've taken my best friend Lela's advice, and am choosing to no longer give my SIL the power to drive me crazy. She is too weak of a person to wield that much power over my sanity and I am choosing to take it back. I am getting involved with good things, good people. I now belong to guild that supports a women's transitional house. We are hands-on involved in helping these women get back on their feet. It's awesome. It's a positive energy flow - both giving and receiving. I'm doing a tower climb supporting the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society with some folks I haven't done much with before. They are good people. It will be good for me, as well as them. These are things, I will admit, arose out of 2009. But they will help transform me for 2010.

So, goodbye 2009! I won't say I'll miss you much, but your sibling 2010 is plenty welcome in my life!

Happy New Year, Blog Friends! We're looking forward to a great 2010 with you all!

I will leave you with this, posted on facebook by KidSpirit at OSU:
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” Edith Lovejoy Pierce quotes (Poet b.1904)

Live Strong!
***Ally