Trip Tidbits

More funny occurrences from the trip I'm on for my son's baseball tournament:

Sooooo, I arrived in Palm Springs, unpacked, settled in. And upon getting ready for bed, realized that I had forgotten to pack bras. I have only the black one I was wearing on the plane. And a whole bunch of tank tops that require something other than black, if you know what I mean. Ugh. Find me a Target. I'll even do WalMart.

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I am officially THAT airline passenger. You know the one. The one that spills her water, not only on herself, making it look like she peed her pants, but also on the stranger next to her. Beautiful. And uber embarrassing. Especially when I yelled, "Crap" really loud because I had my headphones on and couldn't hear myself.

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Ever plan a trip somewhere you've not been, pick a hotel on the internet, and arrive to find out that those pictures you saw online were very.... um, flattering, compared to the real thing. Well another mom on my son's baseball team picked our hotel. It looked great online. Turns out it is really OLD Palm Springs. "Continental Breakfast" consists of coffee & pastry OR $1 off at the restaurant next door. Woo Hoo. Hair dryers are available "upon request", as are coffee makers (with no coffee). No little shampoos or lotions. And the towels are about 24 X 30 and as thick as a piece of paper. At least we're all in it together!

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Three other moms and myself found the grocery store and went shopping. Four ladies, each with their own cart, racing through the store for water & snacks for teenage boys at 8pm. Oh and wine. For us. To deal with the teenage boys. Too much fun.

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Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy the three days.

Sun. Heat. Friends.

These are the things I long for. In that order. It has been a crazy wet May around these Northwest parts. I am sick of rain, gray, clouds, cold.

Guess where I'm going today?

PALM SPRINGS, BABY!!! That's right. Sunshine and desert heat. And Lela & another friend are coming up for a night.

We get to hang at the pool, drink margaritas, go out for Mexican food. Ahhh, can't wait.

WAIT. That's right, I'm going to Palm Springs because my son has a baseball tournament. My husband is not going. Which leaves me as 'responsible parent'. And leaves me with a dilemma.

I don't want to be THAT parent. The one that asks someone else to schlep their kid for just one little night so that I can spend an evening with Lela & her friend having some fun, which I totally deserve. The one that the *gossip mom* on the team will surely be talking about within seconds of me asking. I'm only asking that he (my FIFTEEN year old) gets a ride to dinner with another family. He'll have his own money. I'll miss one team dinner. It's not like I'm going to come back stumbling, falling down drunk, or pawn my kid off on other parents ALL weekend long. I'm not missing games. I'm still his parent. I'll still BE THERE. So why do I care what anyone thinks? Should I care? Should I let one gossipy mom ruin my chance at one fun afternoon/evening?

Of course I shouldn't. But it will still bug me. And I'll do it anyway. It's not that big of a deal. Right?

Yes, I'm an insecure girl.

***Ally

Life Blips

Sometimes life just boringly goes on about it's business, with little blips that make you smile. Here's a couple from the last few days.


A (girl) friend of my son, told him she would bake him a cake if he got a better grade on their math test than her. He got a 98%. (After two 100's on quizzes) There's chocolate cake in my kitchen.

Never, ever underestimate the power of chocolate cake. Way to go, kiddo.

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And if you hate baseball, you can stop reading.

If you follow baseball at all, you may know Alex Rodgriguez, aka: A-Rod. He used to play for the Seattle Mariners. He was a stud. (Some say he still is, but I have no use for him. Harsh, I know) When he left the Mariners, for the Texas Rangers, he made a certain statement repeatedly.

As he signed the most lucrative contract in baseball history, making him the most highly paid baseball player ever, he said this: "It's not about the money." And some other BS about playing for a great club, in a great atmosphere, yada, yada, yada.

Seattle, as a whole, wanted to punch him in the nose. If he had said, "Hell yes, it's about the money - why would I turn that down?", I could have at least respected his honesty. Even if he was acting like a s#&thead.

So when this came out Monday, all I could do was laugh. Absolutely PRICELESS:

Texas Rangers file for bankruptcy. Their #1 unsecured creditor? Alex Rodriguez, with $25 million in deferred payments.

Good thing it wasn't about the money, Pay-Rod.

***Ally

PS - I linked to an awesome, inspiring post yesterday from Twitter. The Creative Junkie posted the link. Here it is. Go read it. Be inspired. Wear your red dress.

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!

Memoir Monday - More Snakes??

Travis at I Like To Fish started Memoir Monday.
I've tried it out, and kinda like it... so here's another moment from the past.
Check out Travis' blog, if you haven't...


While this memory may not be very old, it's stuck in my head.

I was visiting my sister in the Dallas area, while attending a work seminar. We hung out on Saturday, just enjoying time together with her and my sweet little 20 month old nephew.

Saturday morning we went to a nearby park - big lake to walk around, lots of ducks with babies, big playground. Great place.

After walking the lake, we stopped to let my nephew feed the ducks. There was a little side pond from some recent rain and a mama and 7 babies were very interested in what my nephew had to offer, entertaining him to no end.

Once we were out of food, the babies had laid in the grass at the edge of the lake resting. Mama was nearby, looking for any food she might have missed. My nephew was still offering his empty hand and I was just past the babies, shooting pictures of him.

All of a sudden I hear this from my sister's mouth, "SNAKE!"

What the heck? I jumped four feet and scrambled away from the side of the lake, turning just in time to see the water disturbed where the slimy thing went under. Which is when I realized that the baby closest to the water, had been on the verge of being a snakey snack. Which would have traumatized my animal loving sister and I to no end. Yes, I realize that's life, but not while I'm watching please. I don't even watch the nature shows when the lion kills the zebra...

After returning home and downloading my pictures, I realized that when I had snapped a pic of a couple of the babies - the snake had been in the background and I NEVER saw it!!!!!!

If you look closely at the upper left hand corner of the water, you will see the slithery little creep.

Yes, I skinned a snake at a much younger age. Today? Keep 'em away, please!

***Ally

A Little Too Comfortable

First...

The Queen of WTF posted this button and a heartfelt message for Daffy.
I totally agree.
My heartfelt sorrow goes out for Daffy and her family and all they are going through.
I've been praying for strength and love for all of them.
I've never lost a sister, but I've recently gone through loss.
It's harder than anything.
Grab the button from The Queen and show your love.

Just Added: Another button (the heart at the right) is available HERE at Mad Boastings of A Cheapskate Mom.


And today's pre-written post:

I was out of town at a work seminar. If you are new to this blog, I'll give you the background that I am a muscular therapist. I don't do massage, I do a specialized technique that treats sports and repetitive stress injuries. Blah, blah, blah. Boring.

So at the seminars (continuing education to recertify), we are hands on. We all walk around in work-out clothes, practicing on each other, with instructors.

One of the "students" was a big dude that spends a lot of time in the gym and in the tanning bed. Just an observation. I've also observed that he thinks he's pretty special. He also does this weird thing with his tongue on his upper lip, that I'm sure he is unaware of, that is really unattractive. But I digress.

So Mr. Special was squeezing between myself and someone else - which required him to move behind me. As he went past, he reached out and held me by the hips. As if he was steadying me so he didn't knock me over. Or something.

This is where I have a problem. If my husband did that, I would think nothing of it. If my dad or brother did it, I would think nothing of it.

If a stranger, or even a casual friend did it, I would think A LOT of it. It is way too familiar of a gesture to share with someone you don't know or only know casually. It's a chick thing, I'm sure, but nonetheless, I thought the guy was pushing boundaries. Okay, so he touches people all day for a living, maybe he thinks nothing of it.

Here are the reactions I got to this little story:

Male Friend: "You gals are so uptight"
Sister: "That's way too flirtatious"
Male Coworker: "Did he grab your boobs the next time?"
Husband: laughs and doesn't comment

Okay, then. Clearly a male/female reaction thing.

Later, we are working on feet - muscles, ankle ligaments, etc. Mr. Special says, "If I'd known we were going to spend so much time around the toes I'd have gotten a Pedi." Not a pedicure, mind you, a Pedi. Coming from big, macho, muscle guy. Then he adds, "I didn't even shave my legs today." At which point I realize that his whole body is shaved. Legs, arms... I don't even want to know about his chest and back. Or any other part of his anatomy.

Next day, I'm sitting on the floor through a video clip being shown. Mr. Special slides on to the floor spreading himself out and taking up too much room. The instructor up front is warning us about working on inner thigh muscles and making sure we don't create skin pull, because it's a sensitive area.

Mr. Special leans over and says, "Especially the scrotum". I kid you not.

I really think he thought he was funny. I thought he was just plain inappropriate. And not even humorously so. That's the sad part. Cause I can appreciate a little inappropriate humor!

There's one in every group.

***Ally

Conversations That Make You Go "Huh?"

Me: I just saw a lady with 'combs' in her hair. When was the last time you saw those?

Lela: 1982

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(While watching The Boy's baseball game.)

Relative #1: I've never seen a pitcher's mound like that before.

Me: What do you mean?

Relative #1: The way it's raised up like that.

Me: That's why it's called a pitcher's mound.

Relative #1: I know, but I always thought it was flat.

**crickets**

(Can I just mention that Relative #1 watches professional baseball on tv. Nearly every day.)

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(The following happened while discussing where to eat in Palm Springs for upcoming boys' baseball tournament. Myself and Mom #1 have been labeled "The Healthy Eaters" on the team. A label I don't deny at all. Does that make us food snobs? Quite possibly.)

Me: There's a couple great Mexican places, one close to our hotel. And there's that main road with all kinds of restaurants. Mexican, Italian, Sushi - whatever you want.

Mom#1: That sounds fun.

Mom#2: And there's always Denny's. The boys like having breakfast for dinner sometimes. And I do, too. *guilty giggle*

Me: fake smile

Mom #1: fake smile

**crickets**


Just a day in my life...
***Ally

Highlights From A Traveling Work Weekend

I traveled to Dallas for a 2-day work seminar, plus a little playtime with my sister and 20 month old nephew. As usual, when traveling, there are endless opportunities for things to offer amusement, and for people to amaze you.

Highlights from my work weekend:

The public restroom with the oversensitive auto flush - every time I put down a seat cover, it would flush by the time I turned around to sit down... taking the seat cover down the drain. I gave up and did the hover. Third time's the charm.

Rental car with dirty, stained seats with HOLES in them. Seriously. Very disappointed in Dollar Rent A Car. I'm switching back to Enterprise next time.

19 year old Dude in the seat next to me on the airplane who had no problem not only hogging the armrest, but having his whole arm pressed against mine, with his elbow in my ribs. For 3 hours and 45 minutes. Did I mention this was a total stranger???

Putting my headphones on FAST and pretending to sleep while 19 year old dude next to me on the airplane peppered the guy on the other side of him with questions like a 5 year old. "Where are you headed? Where are you from? What were you doing in Texas? What's it like to live in Alaska? How old are you? What kind of music do you like? Do you play video games? Do you like Halo or Call of Duty better?" I'm not making those questions up. No way was I getting sucked in.

The rope barricade in the rental car lot... was actually steel cable. And I have the bruise on my knee to prove it.

Leg cramp at 2am. I wanted to scream, but didn't want to frighten my sister. I've never had those. I now have SERIOUS sympathy for those that do. My calf still feels like someone kicked me in it...

Margaritas. Holy cow. They pour a seriously strong margarita in Texas. I only had two! But it felt like four...

Eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. Good grief, how much did I gain in three days? I'm afraid to weigh myself!

Time spent with the little guy - priceless.

Returning home to haul myself to Urgent Care to deal with the cough-that-just-won't-go-away, to be told by the doctor that despite my lungs sounding clear and having no wheezing, he felt I had mild asthma. I was given a breathing treatment of albuterol through a nebulizer. As I sat there by myself in the room breathing through the little contraption, I thought it was like taking bong hits in a doctors office. Only this makes you jittery. So it's really not like bong hits at all. Not that I would know, of course. And it didn't really help. There goes the asthma diagnosis. Off to my own doctor tomorrow...

***Ally

Memoir Monday - Ssssnakes!

Travis at I Like To Fish started Memoir Monday.
I've tried it out, and kinda like it... so here's another moment from the past.
Check out Travis' blog, if you haven't...


I've mentioned in a previous Memoir Monday that I spent summers as a teenager at a summer camp. I was a camper and a staff member. I loved it - every minute of it.

One time at band camp.... just kidding. (movie reference, people)

One summer when I was "junior" staff member, we were on an overnight camp out, when a big fat rattle snake invited itself into our presence.

The big, brave men *cough, cough* in camp (those would be the male counselors) killed it and cut off it's head. (Don't get all animal rights on me, I'm at the front of the line when it comes to animals. But it really was a safety issue around all those kids. And it was a long time ago)

Now they had a snake and decided they wanted to cook snake meat over the fire. But it had to be skinned.

Being young, and apparently ridiculously stupid, I volunteered for the task.

Yes, I met the big, brave men head for head, and skinned their snake. I slit that baby down the belly, and I believe I even preserved the skin fairly well. Then I went for the real show off move and opened it's stomach. Or at least what I think was the stomach. I'm pretty sure I wasn't really educated in snake anatomy.

I think we all wanted to find a whole mouse in there. And I remember convincing many that the gob of grayish goo in it's stomach was, in fact, the remnants of a mouse or something.

It didn't matter. I was wearing the badge of 'AWESOME' that night, as the snake skinner and dissector. I also tasted the cooked meat.

For the record, this last weekend, my sister spotted a snake a few feet from where I stood at the end of a pond. She quickly warned me. I jumped six feet from a stand still. My heart jumped into my throat. If someone tried to hand me a snake right now, I would run the other way.

But once upon a time, I was the snake conqueror. Or something.

***Ally

You Never Know

I dragged my son to Target and was going to buy him an Icee until he smarted off about something. Apology was given (forced) and we went about our business. I was feeling tired and achey from a cold and just wanted to get out of there with no blood shed.

I bought a coffee for myself and decided to divide and conquer. I told my son to pick out some ice cream for his dad's birthday while I got the popcorn. Everybody in my family knows that my husband loves peanut butter and chocolate, so I was more than irritated when my son said he wasn't going to get that for his dad.

"Don't be selfish," I hissed.

"I am not selfish!" he said, kinda loud, as I walked away.

Eighty dollars later we headed for the door and I spilled my coffee all over my hand. We were right in front of the in-store Starbucks so I told my son to get me a napkin.

"I can't. My hands are full."

I quickly ripped the bag out of his hands and threw it in the cart. Problem solved. Napkin was on its way.

Okay, so now my son has 2 strikes against him and we make it to the car. I get in and from the rearview mirror I see a homeless woman with a toddler in a stroller behind my car. She was holding a sign I couldn't read and it didn't really matter what it said. I could tell she was in need. I reached in my wallet and asked my son to jump out and hand her the money.

He gave me a look that said he would really rather not so I got out, handed her the money and said, "God bless you."d

When I got back in the car I started to let my son have it, but his face made me stop. "Mom, you don't know what I did today."

"What did you do today?"

I gave my front-of -the-line pass (a "cut" pass he earned for good grades) to a kid at lunch and another kid didn't have anything to eat so I bought him a chicken sandwich."

You are probably thinking I am a sucker, but his eyes were getting watery as he told me.

"I'm sorry. I love you."

And I was sorry.

And I do love him.

-Lela

Check Your Closet

Ally is traveling this week on business but I had to emergency text her today with some disturbing news: Women's overalls and carpenter pants are making a comeback.

I was at the Gap shopping for some white pants when I felt like I was having an 80's flashback. They tried to make the jean overalls "current and fresh" by making the bibs smaller. That's only gonna make your butt look bigger, people. Just like the built-in tool belt for your hammer on the carpenter pants.

But, after trying on pair after pair of white pants that were ultra-low waisted; super-skinny; long and lean; and pleated in the front (that's just wrong), I reached for the carpenter pants. Out of desperation.

You know where this is going. They fit perfectly and the loop for the hammer was discreet an unobtrusive. It didn't make my butt look bigger at all.

But I am cheap and didn't want to pay $50, so I went to Ann Taylor Loft. Right when I walked in I spied a rack of white cropped jeans on sale for $29 each. It was my lucky day until I went to buy them and the salesgirl said they were actually $79.

I knew it was too good to be true! I told her I couldn't afford them and nicely said that she should change the sign on the rack.

"Wait," she said. "Where did you find them?"

After showing her the proof, she offered to sell them to me for $29! That is $50 off! Not that any stupid pair of white pants with a fake hole worn in the pocket is worth almost 80 bucks, but I took them.

I can't wait to tell Ally.

-Lela

Men And Women Do Not Have The Same Brains

I had just done my husband a "favor", if you know what I mean, and in return, he agreed to buy me lunch and go for a walk down by the beach. It was a win-win situation.


You should know that I have been married 15 happy years and my husband is not the biggest talker, which he was demonstrating on our short drive to the beach. Also, he not really a "lunch" person and he dislikes walks, especially if I make him go to the beach. I know.

Anyway, during a particularly long silent moment I said, "I bet you are thinking, 'Man, I wish I didn't have to drive to the beach, go for a walk and buy lunch,' because you are so lazy." He can be really lazy sometimes, especially after "favors".

"Actually," he said, "I wasn't thinking anything. My mind was totally empty."

"WHAT? You can DO that? My mind has never been totally empty!"

But wait, it gets weirder. After lunch we were enjoying our (silent) walk and I said something to my husband.

"What?" he asked. "I only heard the first part of that. My hearing wasn't totally turned on." Mind you, he does not wear a hearing aid.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well," he explained, "My mind heard something, then it had to register that you were talking, so I missed the first part of what you said."

"So you have delayed hearing until your brain warms up?"


He just laughed.


I was dumbfounded.


And jealous.


-Lela, the girl whose brain never rests

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!

Memoir Monday

Travis at I Like To Fish started Memoir Monday.
I've tried it out, and kinda like it... so here's another moment from the past.
Check out Travis' blog, if you haven't...


Do you like boats? In theory, I like boats. But I admit to having a couple of bad experiences that have left me less than "relaxed" when on them. In fact, I'm downright nervous on boats. I work very hard to stop imagining "the worst" that could happen. The first experience was scary and sad and someone got hurt. But the second one was young, stupid kids. The kind I laugh about. Now. That many years have passed.

Waaaaay back when I was 18 or 19, a bunch of us went to a lake in the eastern part of the state. Friend of a friend's parents lived on the lake. They had a ski boat. We could all stay the night piled in their basement... fun times.

Well, we spent the day at the lake, had the boat out. The son of the people who owned it was a perfectly good driver, taking everyone who wanted to go skiing. But he wanted a turn. So he handed the boat over to another guy on the boat, with a few instructions. Off we went, skier doing his thing. And then he went down.

So the driver of the boat, obviously, needed to turn around and go pick him back up. Do you slow down when you turn your car? Just wondering. Apparently this dude didn't. And he didn't on the boat, either.

Now I was sitting on the deck of the bow, facing backward, legs stretched out straight in front of me. My feet were about even with the guy sitting in the farthest forward seat. About the time the driver cranked that wheel, WITHOUT SLOWING DOWN, I had one of those slow motion life experiences that actually happens in like half a second. My lower body started to lose contact with the boat. I was becoming airborne. And there was nothing to grab hold of. I'm quite sure I screamed.

Somehow, the guy sitting farthest forward reached up and grabbed my ankle. And that one ankle was the only thing that kept me in the boat. I'm pretty sure I must have peed a little in my pants. I think my heart started beating again sometime the next day.

Fun times, indeed.

***Ally

That's Not What I Asked For

I got invited to a baby shower.

Am I old fashioned to think it is inappropriate to print where you are registered on the invitation? And not just one place, but three stores and their websites? Target, Babies R Us, and some unknown boutique that requires the password, "Squirt".

I refuse to buy anyone anything from their registry if they print it on their invitation. This goes for birthdays, weddings, and anniversary parties. And don't get me started on the "in lieu of" requests. My friend recently received a wedding invitation, oh, excuse me, a "save the date", that announced they would prefer cash in lieu of gifts for furniture.

Just because I protest registries doesn't mean I don't look at them. The new fad seems to be registering for . . . wait for it . . . gift cards! That's right! Can't decide if you want to purchase the $700 flat screen T.V. for the newlyweds? Here's a suggestion: Buy them a gift card. The gift of cash disguised as a gift that they specifically requested.

Webster's Dictionary definition of GIFT: Something voluntarily transferred from one person to another without the expectation of compensation.

My definition of GIFT: Something thoughtful voluntarily transferred from one person to another, not requested or suggested by the receivee, that requires no compensation, unless it is in the form of a handwritten thank you note, which is never mandatory, but greatly appreciated, not to mention classy.

So, what am I going to get for the mommy-to-be of a baby girl? Her registries show a fondness for pink and brown, so I will make her a baby quilt featuring those colors. I also plan to hand embroider a few burp cloths.

Even though she didn't register for them.

-Lela, the horrible

You Aren't Going To Wear That Are You?

This last weekend, I suddenly found myself with one full free day. Canceled baseball, no commitments. I decided to do a long overdue project - purge my closet. It especially needed to be done, as I've recently changed clothes sizes and needed to see what fit, what didn't. Anyhoozle.

I was packing away winter sweaters (YAY!!!!) and pulling out summer clothes. I tried on shorts to see what would still be wearable. Sometimes you pull something out, put it on and think, "What the hell was I thinking wearing this? I look like someone's grandma." That kind of thing.

I put on a pair of shorts and was wondering if they just looked too funky across the front. Went downstairs and asked my husband what he thought.

Him: "No, they're fine. But you aren't planning on wearing them out in public are you?"

Me: "What the heck does that mean?"

Him: "They're kind of short. Nice hot pants."

WTF???

I texted Lela looking for support.

Me: "I just tried on a pair of shorts with FIVE inch inseam. Hubs says 'You aren't going to wear those in public are you?' I wore them all last summer. Dammit." (Okay, I might have said something other than dammit, but I'm not saying it here.)

Lela: "My underwear have a 5 inch inseam."

Me: "Shut the front door! They are NOT too short dammit!"

I pondered a little more, then sent Lela this text: "Do thongs have inseams?"

For the record, my legs still look good in shorts, and until they start looking bad, I'm wearing 'em.

***Ally

Post It Note Tuesday

If you want to play along, check out SupahMommy's site. It's great fun!

Sealed With A Kiss

Ally told me someone saw her adorable teenage son (my godson) kissing his girlfriend! Then, my 13 year-old son got invited to his first boy-girl party. Big deal, right? But we are their mothers!

This information started a texting frenzy between Ally and I Saturday night that somehow morphed into stories about us in junior high, first kisses, hickies, and other embarrassing things that had to be immediately deleted after reading.

I was the one who texted to Ally, "I hope our sons are good kissers and don't slobber like all the boys at our high school."

Remember your first kiss? I was 12 and the boy had just finished smoking a cigarette! Gross! That was followed by junior high make-out parties where the boys probed my mouth with their tongues, while slobbering and drooling all over my face! Nobody knew what they were doing back then!

My husband says kids thought they were supposed to kiss like that and I disagreed. I wanted the soft, no tongue kisses back then (and still do, by the way) but I was too immature/embarrassed to stop the attack on my tonsils. Instead, I went along with the slobber fest until my twenties, when I figured out I could be in control of the kissing situation.

Although I can talk to my son openly about sex, I feel weird telling him how to kiss. Should my husband say something? Do I let it work itself out?

I'm staying out of this one.

-Lela