I Just Can't Stand.... Hair. Another One Of My... Quirks.

There, I said it. Hair completely grosses me out.

No, not while it's on someone's head. I love it while it's attached. (I also have no problem with baldness on men) It's when it falls out. And gets... everywhere.

People, pets. Whatever.

 I was going to find a better picture of a nasty hair ball, but I was starting to gag.

I really, really, really wanted our dog when we got her as a puppy. But before he agreed, my husband looked at me earnestly, and said if he was going to agree, then I had to promise not to freak out about dog hair. I promised. And held my breath.

I'm doing good with the dog hair. Except when I work out, and have to be on the floor. Vacuuming is part of my work out. Just sayin'

But the people hair? Not so much.

And here's the problem - I have the thickest hair known to man. I have enough hair to give three heads thin hair, or two heads average thickness hair. (this is surely scientific, you know) I have my hair thinned every 5 weeks. When I have my hair cut and colored (don't judge - I started graying early), the longest part of the whole event is drying my hair. Point is: I have a lot of hair. And I shed. A lot. Now add my husband, who will die of old age with a full head of hair, just like his father before him. And a kid. And a dog.

I think it stems from my childhood home daycare provider, who had both a daughter and a dog with long, black, curly hair. One morning I was at her house eating cereal, and there was a long, black, curly hair in my bowl of milk. I was totally grossed out not knowing which one it belonged to. I'd like to say it was a one time event, but it wasn't. I remember it happening at least twice. So now? I don't like hair.

I keep a Swiffer in my bathroom and use it daily. I hate mopping the bathroom floor, because I know no matter how much I sweep and Swiffer, there will still be random hair there to get caught in the mop water. Blech.

Hair in my food? Oh goodness, don't let me see it or I might not be able to eat. Did I ever tell you about the pubic hair I saw in the bulk mushroom bin at the grocery store? Do you know how long it took me to eat mushrooms again? And I love mushrooms...

My family knows that no human hair, from head or nether regions, may be left on a bar of soap or the tub or shower. Consequences are quick and severe.

And now that you know way too much about my self-imposed psychological trauma, I wish you a happy day!


***Ally
PS. I don't do hair clogged drains. I WILL throw up. If I lived alone, without my awesome husband to take care of those things, I would pay someone to come and do it while I covered my eyes. The end.

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