I'm sorry about the PMS. I really do understand. I'm a little unpredictable when I have it, too. But the majority of this country is slowly dying of heat stroke, while us here in Seattle keep checking the map to see if we've been transported to the midwest. Because humidity, thunderstorms, lightening... that's not really classic Northwest weather, if you know what I mean. Still, I'm not complaining, because it's warm but not unbearably hot, but a little less of the dramatics would be appreciated.
*****
Dear Facebook Poster,
While I can appreciate you posting a few pics from your ongoing vacation, "checking in" at every hotel on the Vegas strip - as you walk down said strip - is kind of obnoxious. There's a lot of hotels on that strip, which makes for a whole lot of posts on my feed. (I would unsubscribe from your posts, but my husband is so amused by the nonsense that he doesn't want me to.)
*****
Dear Facebook Poster, again,
Having the poolside bartender take your picture with your phone while you hold the two drinks you just bought sorta reeks of... I don't know, desperation maybe?
*****
Dear Loving Son,
While I have sat through most of your baseball team's games this season, watching you keep the stats from the sideline with only one hand while the other is in a nice bright green cast, I do hope you understand why I'm not watching these current tournament games. Because $7 per game, with a 5 game minimum is a bit pricey to watch you not play. I love you though, and I know you kick some ass if you were able to be out there.
*****
Dear Dog,
I envy you your bladder control. I have no idea how you make it through the whole night, then look outside at the rainstorm in the morning and decide you can hold it longer because you don't want to get wet. IF I made it through the night and found my toilets disabled in the morning, I would pee outside in a rainstorm without a second thought. That's how bad I have to go by morning.
*****
Dear Bike Trainer Sitting In My Room,
I don't know what I did to you to make you stick your leg out and jam my toe as I walked by. I'm wondering if I'll be able to run today, or if I'll lose my nail in a few weeks. Though it is kind of interesting to feel every heartbeat in my fourth toe, the throbbing has calmed to a dull roar.
Love,
***Ally
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9 comments:
Dear Ally,
Hopefully you do not lose your toenail and your weather gets back to normal soon! Also, I wouldn't pay for five games minimum if my beloved child wasn't playing because like you, I love him but come on.
OUCH, sorry to hear about the toe. Hope you don't lose that toenail. Stuff like that can sure make your day, can't they? LOVE your rants about the Facebook posters. I agree on all the stupid pictures. I also get annoyed with people who post tons of "sayings"...you know, all those clever quips and inspirational quotes. A couple of them are fine, but some people post them all day long. I am close to Unsubscribing myself. And? I am not an athiest, but I also get sick of the "God Squad" as I call them....the people who post everything religious...I mean everything. And then there's the political freaks...
Sorry, I'm ranting on and on. Maybe I need a face book break. LOL
Tooooooo funny! Thanks for starting my day off with a good chuckle. =D
Diane
when my son broke his foot and sat on the bench..I didn't go either.
Hot flashes are worst in the summer! I'm kind of over facebook...blogging is enough self-absorbtion. :-) My son broke his leg in soccer in 2nd grade...the games don't mean anything if your child isn't playing!
This made me chuckle... I do hope that you won't loose your toe nail and that the weather will somehow get back to normal. Whatever that may be...
Now, *deep breaths*, doesn't it just feel soooo very good to get that all out??
xo
I'd write some of these except they'd all start out the same way:
"Dear Dummy Me:"
Love these! Especially the dog one. I can't imagine having a bladder like that - though I am a bit envious at times.
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