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Friday, September 14, 2012

Memorable Dates

I asked my old blogging pal, and best friend, Lela for good stories of old boyfriends or dates that did dumbass embarrassing or stupid things on a date.

I figured between the two of us, we could put together a few humorous stories.

After all, I once went on a first date with a guy (I was probably 18) who picked me up in his mom's car, complete with a baby car seat strapped into the back seat.  I should point out that his car was a HUGE, old piece of crap so I was kind of relieved when I saw his mom's car. Until I spied that car seat. He quickly explained that it was his sister's baby's seat. Oh my. Later that same night, we were back at my house watching tv (my mom was home - don't get any ideas!) when a commercial for the Today Sponge contraceptive came on. Without skipping a beat he told me that was what his sister had been using when she got pregnant. Ohhhhhkay then.

Another time, my friend and I were introduced to the son of some people I knew. He was my age and had a friend with him. Upon meeting us, his friend uttered "Woody!" under his breath, assuming that a) we couldn't hear his comment and b) we, young adult girls, wouldn't know what that meant. Moron. To be clear, woody does not refer to the Toy Story character, a station wagon with wood paneling, a wooden roller coaster, or Woody Harrelson/Allen/Guthrie. Just sayin'. (I ended up dating the son for a year or more. I know.)

And yet another time I went on a date with a guy I had a humongous crush on. Did I say humongous? Gigantic. I was 19, he was 23. He took me to a concert, and afterwards he drove me around downtown pointing out the bars that he and his friends like to go to. Four or five different bars. Bars I couldn't get into due to my under 21 age. I didn't know what to say. "Wow, that's great. I can't wait to go there.... in two more years." Yeah, no. Upon realizing that he'd dug himself an awkward hole, he asked if I wanted to get something to eat. I suppose if we'd gone to McDonald's I would be old enough to actually get in. That was not fun.

And of course for senior prom, my date along with three other guys got in a fight in a parking lot on the way to the dance. Some punks had called them "pretty boys" and they felt it would be appropriate to defend their honor while wearing rented white tuxes with pink bow ties. Ahem. I never wanted to dump a date so badly in my life.

I thought my stories were good. But Lela had me beat.

Here is her reply:

This guy (I had met in a bar) picked me up for a date chewing on a straw!  When we got in his truck he THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW! Loser, white trash litterbug.

When I lived in Memphis this guy came over to my apartment to watch movies.  He even brought flavored popcorn (when it was all the rage in the 80's).  I went to the bathroom and when I came back into the living room, he had taken off his pants!!!!!!  I asked him to leave, which he did.

Remember that song, "Red, red wine . . . "?  So do I because one time on a date the guy picked me up and drove downtown Seattle playing that song on his cassette deck over and over.  When it finished he rewound it (whrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzz) and played it again.  About 10 times.

Senior ball (when I was a Junior) *Joe Smith wouldn't/couldn't keep his hands off me.  My friend finally said, out loud, "Joe, keep your hands off her!



Make us feel better. Let us know that you had a memorable date in your background, too. Please?

***Ally

6 comments:

Terri Sonoda said...

Ha! Love the stories! Brings back memories of some very bad date choices. I'll share one and try to be brief:
My sweet sixteen birthday party. It was at my house. An old boyfriend showed up, knowing I had just broken up with my steady. He asked me to ride with him to pick up some friends to bring to the party. Stupid, gullible me said ok. We picked up the couple, then my date promptly drove to a house that looked abandoned, parked in the driveway and began to try to take my clothes off. The couple in the back were actually DOING IT! I was freaking 16 for crying out loud! I had a fit. I Started screaming at him to take me back to the party or I would get out and walk. He cussed but consented and started the car. Before we could get out of that driveway, a COP car pulled in behind us. The couple in back were still going at it, I swear.
They stopped finally and tried to hurriedly get dressed. The cops shined their flashlights in on us and asked what we were doing there. Talk about embarrassing. They let us leave with a warning. We went to the party, and I had my ex boyfriend just drop me off. He was no longer welcome at my party.
Some sweet sixteen memory huh?
Sheesh!

Happy Friday

Suzy said...

I wish you and Lela would submit your worst most horrible breakup stories for the series on my blog, Breaking (up) Bad.

Just A Normal Mom said...

As far as I am concerned, Terri is now holding the #1 spot for bad date/boyfriend experiences!! That is cringe-worthy!

SisterWife Annie said...

Those are some pretty bad dates.

Ducky said...

I went through a phae of what I considered speed dating before speed dating came about. I've had dates where I got up to go to the bathroom and walked out the back door. There were times I'd excuse myself to the bathroom and call my sister. She would call a short time later with a family emergency. There have been some doozies. :D

Clarinda said...

Great stories, Ally! I wish I had something to beat them. Or maybe I don't. :-)