Thursday, February 20, 2014

Just Merge

Me: “You know, my biggest problem driving in this town is that people don’t know how to merge. They merge onto the freeway going 50 when everyone else is going 65. It drives me crazy!”

Hubs: “I’m pretty sure we had this same conversation about the drivers in Seattle.”

Me: *dagger eyes*

Hubs: “Well, it’s true.”

Me: *eye roll*

It may be true. I might have expressed this complaint before. But dammit, don’t they teach merging in driver’s ed? I mean these “mergers” mosey up the onramp and never top 50 and expect to get on a road where traffic is moving at 65. Which means everyone behind them (ahem - that would be me) has to step on the brakes and then try to move around them.

It happens every single day. I try not to be in the right lane where the mergers converge for long, since the freeway here is three lanes and I can hang in the middle until my exit, but it happens. And the “merger” is always oblivious to any of it. The cars behind (that’s me again) braking and dropping their speed 15mph, fingers twitching with the desire to send a single finger silent communication, eyes narrowed behind their sunglasses ready to give them stink eye when they finally get around the “merger”. Not that I would know about any of this. *clearing my throat*

Merging ONTO the freeway requires the use of the gas pedal. There is typically a short distance to get yourself up to speed and you better be ready to do it. If you are coming up that ramp, putting on speed, looking like you are going to keep up with the crowd, I’ll gladly pull my foot off the gas to let you in. Gladly. Happily. No qualms about it and I’ll rarely think about you again. If I’m in that right lane I actually watch for mergers and adjust my speed accordingly for what’s coming. But when you are poking along and not even gauging the speed at which you are going to have to reach to move into traffic and assuming God will part the cars for your grand entrance, the temptation to keep my foot on the gas or speed up and hang you out to dry is almost overwhelming. I don’t, because I try to drive defensively not aggressively. But the temptation is there. The little gal with horns is sitting on my shoulder shouting, “Do it!”. Fortunately, the gal on the other shoulder with the halo wins out.

And as a bonus? If you are getting off at the next exit, there’s really no need to start braking three quarters of a mile before the exit. That might be a bit excessive.

Hmmm, maybe instead of moving to a smaller town that still has a freeway (albeit one of the easiest towns to navigate), I should have moved to a larger city with public transportation and ditched my car. Or far out in the country where I could just ride a horse. I guess I need a healthy injection of patience.

Happy merging, people. Remember, there are other cars on the road and scary enough, one of them might be me! ;-)



Clarinda @ Enjoying the Course said...

Lol. I think not knowing how to merge is the blight on driving no matter where you live. :-)

Mike said...

I absolutely howled laughing at this, Ally! Welcome to the Wild West where we are 10-20 years behind the times here in just about everything! And yes, it's annoying :)

Terri Sonoda said...

Funny stuff! You made an otherwise annoying subject very entertaining. I'm still laughing. Slow-poke mergers are everywhere. It's so bad in Vegas, my younger son will not even drive when he comes to visit. I was hoping he would outgrow that, but he hasn't yet. Anywho, thanks for the chuckle!

hiker mom said...

So funny! I guess you just can't get away from bad drivers;) I like the riding a horse idea!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I'm cracking up because clearly this is a hot button issue with you. You have very, very strong feelings about it. lol